Monday, 28 April 2008

Music Guy

What a gorgeous day it is in the city!!! I just sent an email to my boyfriend telling him how sunny and nice it is in London. His response....."lol I cant imagine anyone in Lagos being happy about a hot sunny day, lol, wat a contrast". He got that right cause the Lagos sun nearly suffocated me a few weeks ago! Yeah I had to attend my cousins' wedding doing the whole Bridesmaid thing. It was definitely one of the most organised weddings I have ever been to so that was a big plus. Now I'm back to work and totally swamped!!! Ahh well I need to pay those bills so I best be grateful for a job.

Music Guy is one of my very old frogs from many years ago. I met Music Guy through a male family friend. I was called at the last minute whether I would like to come out clubbing. My answer was a quick Yes as I had been stuck at home with my mum the whole day and in as much as I love her I was craving going out that hot summer night. A car pulled into my driveway with 3 men and I jumped in. On our way to the club, one of the guy's stood out in the car. They were playing a CD that had been compiled by him, in fact actually song by him. At first I thought they were making it up but as the song went on I realised it was really him singing. I was blown away and wanted to ask him so many things to do with music. You see I have a passion for music, a passion so big it could at the time make or break me.

We got to the club and Music guy and I could not get enough of each other. It was as though we were friends from another life. We danced, we sat, we spoke, laughed, danced more then I got dropped off at home. We exchanged numbers and I was of cause looking forward to hearing from him. He called almost immediately as he got home and we spoke till day break and slept off. A week after he invited me to his crib and I was mentally there before I was even really there. It's amazing how excited you can get over a man! Anyway I got into his house and he had a mini recording studio thingy going on. Boyyyy was I tripped! I immediately jumped on his Mic, like a baby started fiddling on anything and everything and of cos demanded that he recorded my singing. This went on for hours never ending and I couldn't get enough of my singing lol lol. I even progressed to song writing, it just felt liberating.

I was hooked on this brother. I felt like shutting everything else down and just focusing my music energy on us. I started dreaming of making good music with him, who knows maybe he could even produce me. In reality, this brother had no money, no car, no credit cards, in short was probably surviving on Air LOLLLL. He was looking for a new job and in the meantime thought to focus his energy on music. That means everything we did had to be free. Movies were of cos free cos we watched it in his crib, eating not so free cos I will pay for it, transportation not free cos I paid, in short the only free thing we shared was Music.

Then the dreaded day came. I had been going on like a love sick rabbit obsessing over this dude and my friends were convinced I had lost my mind. They couldn't understand what this guy was doing for me. I guess I was looking for a form of escape, rebellion, young age crisis lol. So I decided to ask him straight where our friendship was leading to? He said he couldn't commit but wouldn't want to lose what we had going on. My heart broke in a million separate ways and I couldn't breathe. What can't you commit to? I mean I have overlooked the fact that you can't give me the basics and still want to be with you and yet you can't commit? Come on you know we suit each other bla bla BS. Gosh I had a lot of BS going on back then ooo. He tried his best to calm me down as I was crying uncontrollably. Before I could say "Music", dude stopped picking my calls, and at random intervals will call asking if I still wanted to carry on recording or writing music. I would say No thank you. At least I was tryna hold on to pride.

Then one sweet day, a friend of mine called me after Church, she couldn't contain herself! She was like figurella I just saw Music guy with a pregnant woman! I heard him introducing her as his fiance. I of cos told her to get off my phone that what sort of silly joke is that? I mean this is a guy that didn't look like he could feed himself talk less of 3 people (counting the baby to be). This call was barely 2 weeks after I had decided to cut him off. I immediately started digging around a bit more, contacting people that I know go to that Church. All of them said the same thing. they knew him very well as husband to this lady.

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Where the Heck had she been??? I mean did she take a mini-vacation that became a prolonged one? I was just too shocked for words! I mean he had a wife to be and I had zero clue cos of what I perceived as his poor situation/ artist life style. LOL LOL what a joke even a broke guy will still play the fields. The Good News is he got a wife, found a job and then a car, in short he had found life again. Bad News is he was still hooked on me or should I say hooked on the "other me". The me that I so got rid off after being played by a broke ass! I mean we started as friends, I felt I had sacrificed a lot and I was still looking to go to the next level with him, I sure was a joker. Hmmmm fellow bloggers y'all should be real. How many of you are the Bank Account/The Money spender in your relationship? Or what you perceive to be a relationship? In short how many of you do all the spending on a man and still think you are in love?

Thursday, 10 April 2008

The Good Guy

Dundee Brother looks like your prayers have finally been answered! Yes I do have a tale to tell about a guy who was nothing but a breathe of fresh air. So kind at heart, had too much love to give and before I knew it fear gripped me for various reasons and I was gone! I just left him without any obvious warnings so he didn't even have time to prepare for my departure.

I met Good Guy at his parents house in Lagos over xmas. He had not been home in over a decade. They were having a celebratory/ welcome home party for him and his brother. I felt an immediate shyness when I got into their house as the last time we ever saw I was still wearing those cute Cinderella dresses lol. He had brothers my age so I use to play with them and always looked at him as much older. Now things had changed. I was now a woman and certainly more confident to talk to any guy however old. He served my family food and drinks then sat next to me to catch up on all the years. We spoke for what seemed like forever and decided to keep in touch via email. We took a few pictures with our families and said our good byes.

I got home and started having mixed feelings cause though I had a boyfriend at the time, it had not been working out. I mean I had just found out a few months before xmas that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with the same girl for what seemed like forever! He did the whole crying and pleading and before I knew it I decided to give him another chance. I guess I felt I pushed him to this other woman. I blamed myself for so long and just thought I could patch things up. Maybe I wasn't loving him enough, maybe I was too stubborn, uncontrollable but at the bottom of it all I couldn't believe the betrayal. (That being said, he alone would know the real reasons, for starters it coudl simply be he had fallen out of love with me and didn't know how to say so). I got back to London and 2 weeks after my return, Good guy sends an email. This was the beginning of a new friendship. He also had a girlfriend and they also were having serious issues. As God would have it be, the girl who my boyfriend was cheating with decided it was time to let the cat out. She actually came up to me at a club and said to my face I am still with your guy. Of cause I knew that was the end of my relationship.

2 months after my painful break up, Good guy informed me that he also needed a new start. He had called it off with his girl so we were both officially single. I flew to meet him in his State and that was the start of our long distance relationship. For the next 8 months this guy and I were at it full on. Never a day passed that I won't hear from him. In fact I was sure we both won't sleep well if we didn't speak at least once a day. I never had to worry when the next phone call would be, never had a doubt about his loyalty to me. Gosh Good guy spoilt me senseless. We flew back and forth each month so it never felt like there was any real distance. Thank God for Web cams as I remember spending nearly my whole weekends glued to my PC.

Then the cracks started happening around the 7th month. It was clear we were inseparable but now decision on what we wanted for our future started to vary. He has no intention of moving back to Naija ever. I always hope that I will be back home at some point in my life. He wanted me to move to his State but me London girl couldn't see myself adjusting so easily. I wanted him to come here for a bit then maybe we move to his State later. The whole thing kept dragging, the more we talked the less convinced I was about a future with him. I mean how could I claim to love a guy so much but not be ready to relocate for him? I guess I felt he also should show me his love by relocating for me. So he agreed. He agreed to come to Naija once more on holiday and decide carefully whether he will be able to move back home. By 3 days into our holiday, I was 100% sure that it won't work out for us. He wasn't even happy to be home spending his holiday there talk less of moving back permanently. I knew if I held on because of love I would inevitably be unhappy as well. So I called it off. Woke up and said it is over. I didn't want him to convince me otherwise.

Till today I can't believe I could be such a b*tch. I mean I could have waited for him to return to his State before breaking up. It was wrong and thoughtless. Karma is the real b*tch because the guy I dated after him is probably the biggest Frog I have ever met. That would be a story for another day. So Dundee guy happy now? I have finally given kudos to the one Good Guy I met in my life. Well actually my ex was the second Good guy and we are actually good friends now. But I'm wrong it means there are now 3 Good guys I have known and I am now dating one of them :-))

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

I Love that Booty Guy

Today might as well be Monday because I feel the same way I did yesterday which is "I would rather be in bed". The only problem is my central heating decided it was time to go nuts and British Gas sent some incompetent Engineer 3 times now who is no closer to resolving the issue. Funny thing is you will think the service they are offering is free since all they can say is "Bare with us, we are ordering one part after another". Hisssssssss. O well thank goodness for portable heaters but damn those things run up electricity bill sha. It's always billssss. Ok on a bright note, I am very well, I am full of hope, and I am just grateful that the sun still shines even with the dreadful cold out there...........

My weekend was actually not half bad. Friday went over to spend the weekend with an old female friend of mine. After much gist, had an early night so woke up Saturday to more gist (I love my girlfriends, it's always refreshing talking about anything with them). Then we set out to a baby shower that was so much fun I was pleased I attended. But the highlight of it all was a wedding I attended. For all yea Yoruba people, you will understand when I say it was a proper o-wam-be party, for all the Faji Mama's and Papa's in town. Of cos you had the young ones lurking around doing their best to look too cool for the cold. It was freezing that nite but thankfully it was held in a very gorgeous hall. My girl and I step into the hall and the eyes that met us were so frightening I decided not to make any eye contact.

I mean guys had shades on, big chains on, colourful suits on, funny hair styles on, funny accents on, funny shoes on, in short it was a show I had not seen in a long ass while. Perhaps I wanted to drop and laugh at the sight of many but of cos that would be awfully rude. Granted there were decently dressed people as well and the Bride and Groom looked gorgeous so that's all that really matters. As I wasn't actually invited for this wedding I kept pleading with my girl to do quick and let's fade. We were there to pick up her cousin and head to another occasion but that wasn't happening as fast as I had anticipated. The cousin introduced us to some friends of hers. Most of them had babies at home and they were just out having a good time. One lady stood out with a big rock on her finger. I was still admiring it when she goes, o yeah I just got engaged, bla bla, Congratsss is all I could say and took my eyes off. The cousin pointed out who the husband to be was and I just smiled.

That smile became a very big frown about 10 minutes after that. I was backing the entrance door talking to my girl when a guy comes directly into my face with alcohol breathe and starts complementing my ass! He was so excited about it and kept walking in a circle around me to check me out. Okkkkk I would have been slightly flattered if not for the shock I was going through. This was "Big Rock, I am just engaged" woman's fiance! As in the dude they just showed me is her husband to be! Come on! He kept asking for my number and I kept giving him a sarcastic laugh (me being polite). Finally my male cousin came to my rescue and dude bounces off. I was so disgusted and felt sorry for the "Big Rock" lady. I mean no rock can make me happy to see my husband publicly checking another girl's ass now?

To quickly answer the Blogger called Lekan who left a comment on my last post, I do not have any recommendations for guys. I do however feel very sorry for them. Only if a man is deaf,dumb, or just a nuisance does he not know right from wrong. Every situation is about choices. Ok this guy at wedding had his fiance there and was still out to play! How exactly am I to advise him? "Amala guy" had a pregnant girlfriend (unknown to me and so many others),and was still chasing me with his cheapness, making a fool of himself. Pls Lekan what advise do we give him? "Church guy" thought it was sleek to use his spirituality to mislead women and deceive the lady who is now his wife. Pls what advise do I give? "Wales guy" thought it would be fun to play 2 ladies and justify it as "I am just exploring the two of you to make a decision". So you see Lekan in all my post these men are well aware of Right and Wrong. Let them make the choice. I decided to humour myself and others by starting this blog and so shall it be.

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Waiting For a Star to Fall

How's everyone doing? Hope great! Well the week is finally coming to an end and I think it went by really quickly. Wish my outstanding bills would be paid really quickly as well. Wish I could gather all owed money from last year and use it to sort out these bills. But when the likes of "Somebody Else's guy aka Cry baby guy" have decided it's best to act a fool and just not pay back I am left pondering on how I ever called him a Star? I must have been feeling like a generous monkey last year as I also loaned a guy from a group called JJC and 419 Squad money lol lol. Like a friend said, I heard the name of the group and still thought he will pay back? LOLLL.

He is on a solo career making good looking videos but cannot pay me back. I also called him a Star? In his own case I felt sorry for him and I admired his courage to still keep trying to break the Naija music industry when all else was failing for him. Well he is up for one award or another so why not pay back? Guess I'm moaning cos my expenses keep growing and taxes don't seem to be dropping any time soon. So even though I earn well I'm still shocked at how fast money disappears! Ahhh well enough about my worries, the Lord will take care of my tomorrow so it's all good. Truth be told I know I am mightily blessed and it is only a matter of time before I won't have to worry about bills any more, Amen!

Tell me, does a Star have to stop shining at some point? Is it inevitable? Or is it whoever has the magic cloth to rub the star back to life that wins? I mean here I am surrounded by friends who are feeling so in love now and some even feel the love is too much and fear the men are too good for them. Whoaaa that's so beautiful, I'm actually entering a phase where no one is calling men frogs any more? Or maybe it's with age. Perhaps we get older and start tolerating more, accepting more, or if I want to be negative I'll say perhaps we start compromising more for what we justify as right reasons, taking excuses more no matter how foolish the men sound. I really don't know but I must say I feel more relaxed knowing that friends are going through the love feeling. I pray they never have to cry as hard as some of us have, I pray they have left a cushion to fall back on if it all fails. I will keep trying to be an optimist because I have no choice in the matter.

Now I have a Star and he shines on so gracefully. I can only pray he keeps shining. I have no say about tomorrow. I can only live for today and hope for the best. I'm to meet old friends this weekend so lets see what sort of stories I hear. So in the spirit of optimism lets all have a good fun weekend I hope :-)

Saturday, 29 March 2008

Same Script Different Cast

Men you bloggers make writing so fun and fulfilling! Thank you so much for all your love and support. Sometimes I feel my life is some sort of reality TV show lol. The weekend started on a fantastic level! I went for Festival of Life. For those who know about it I'm sure they can testify that you get so refreshed after the anointing is poured on you. It is a Night vigil event where Christians from all over the UK come and celebrate God and life. It's a time to reflect, a time to heal and a time to grow. I feel strengthened and I am confident that the Lord's strength will see me through the inevitable roller coaster of life.

I want to give a shout out to the writer behind Thanks to the Anon who pointed me there. I hope she gets to read my blog as well. I pray you will laugh so hard at some of my past stories (that's if you are not already a reader). All I can say is reading your blog made me realise that as humans when we are going through certain hurts or disappointments, it's the same exact feeling that overwhelms the best of us. I mean girl your description of how alone you felt after you realised your man was gone and never to return just totally gave me the shivers because I sure have been there 1 too many times. Therefore I urge all females to always take the deepest breathe ever when they are going through Male issues and look out to the world to see how others are coping because you might just get comfort from another story you hear. You are never alone! The Joy of the Lord will forever remain your strength so please lets endeavour to keep that joy burning.

I use to joke that men had a school they graduate from where they teach them the ways to become either a God fearing Man or just a mere Frog. It is clear that from that school they are handed out 2 dissertation choices either write about how you want to make your life count, how to respect fellow human beings, how to love with patience and be rewarded, or write about how being a player is the best feeling in the world, how to brag to your male counterparts after every conquest of the female specie, etc. So you see it's always a Choice! Now I know that when a man makes the decision to love he can almost immediately make the decision to revoke the love. Vice-versa for women to but since I am not here to criticise females I'll just hope we also check ourselves before placing blame on the men alone.

I mean anytime I replay "Cry Baby Guy" in my head, I can't stop laughing because even when I found out he had a deceptive story I still carried on the lala dream. "Phone girl" was made to look like a lunatic and I was happy to belief in the lies not even bothering myself that he probably was calling me a lunatic to her as well. It's the same story they cook up for each female but it's always a different girl in the picture frame. Guess sometimes you spice up one story for a slight variation but that's it really. But of cause I must hold on to the strong belief that not all men are frogs :-)) , I hope so! Anyway since I'm having an awfully late start to my day I best be off. Have a blessed weekend all.

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

To be or Not to be?

Hallo hallo, so most of us except those in the States and wherever else would just be returning from a very long weekend break thanks to Easter. I'm not feeling as refreshed as I ought to be cause of certain female monthly issues (awful), and some other personal matters. Anyway all in all I'm glad I woke up in one piece and though it's freezing outside, the sun still manages to shine as a reminder that the Lord is shining down on us all.

On my way to work I decided to do the ritual of putting on my ipod. I stumbled on Lauryn Hill, the album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. I always knew it was great for her to win so many Grammy's back in the days but today I really appreciated why she did. In her song "Forgive them Father", she mentioned a very valuable point........."Men who lack conscience will always lie to themselves but worst of is that they go on and lie to God too, therefore why won't they lie to us women?"

Whoaaa I just felt my brain pause when I heard those words. Now I can finally begin to just accept that the world is what it is and one can only look out for Number 1 which in this case is me, is you, and whoever else. You can't vouch for anyone really well I can't. A friend of mine met a guy at a club a few years back. They danced, drank, had a good laugh and finally exchanged numbers. As she was just getting over a hurtful break up she decided to really take her time with this dude. It was even easier for her to take as much time as she wanted because they were not living in the same town. They will meet up occasionally and hang out all in the name of getting to know each other better.

After many months my female friend decided it was time for her to start visiting him at home. He lived alone but had the occasional male friends sleep over as he had a spare room. He will drive her around town, take her wherever she requested in short she was unsuspecting of anything. On one faithful day, this guy came to get her from the station but this time he took her to another house. She asked whose house it was and he replied his family home. When they arrived she saw him trying to block the mantel piece with his body. He was acting very odd. She decided to excuse herself from the living room and head to the bathroom. Unbeknown to him my friend caught a glimpse of the picture as they walked into the house! It was him, a woman and a child in the frame! She sat in the bathroom for what seemed like forever pondering on what the picture was and wondering why he chose to block it off by standing in front of it and refusing to sit down.

Finally she came to the realisation that this man with no conscience had brought her to his marital home!!!! She decided to walk straight back to the living room to confront him. There was no need the picture was gone! He had cleared the mantel piece before she got back. She was in so much shock that she decided it was best for her to shut up and politely asked to be dropped off at the station. When they got there, this 10 time loser got on his knees crying, pleading with her that he knows she must have seen the picture/s but that it is to be his future ex-wife. Yep bloggers "Future ex-wife". That there was no point telling her about him being married because he is going to ask for a divorce. Lord please stop me from laughing lol lol lol. My friend looked at this man in disgust and told him in a stern voice never to dial her number again, never look in her direction again, in short erase their memories because it will only damage him further.

Of cos it took him time to understand her message/advise but he finally got it. Well for those curious, the wife never found out and she went on to have more kids for her loving hubbie. My girl is doing great in her life as God has blessed her bountifully. So tell me where was it written that it is mandatory for a man to get married? This life is all about Choices the problem as Lauryn Hill has pointed out is so many lack a conscience so we just Have to forgive them! because our father in Heaven forgives us so easily.

This picture keeps coming to mind, a suspecting or unsuspecting wife sits at home with her newly born child waiting day and night for her husband to return home. In some cases they do come home in other cases you cry yourself to sleep and hold the child even tighter because you not sure what you have done to deserve it? Hmmmmm............

Sunday, 23 March 2008

When Does It end?

I can just see some bloggers reaction right now saying.........O MY GOSH SHE IS BACK! Well yeah I'm sort of back but not sure for how long this time. I must say there are times I really wanted to write but I just didn't seem to have the luxury of time any more. At least I'm pleased to say it is for a good cause which is focusing on my relationship and trying hard to learn that sometimes getting criticised and blunt views is the only way to really shake up and grow. I'm having a good ride so far and as always we can only Hope for the best.

Well well well, Amala guy (aka Big Belle Daddy) from a previous post, called me ystday after such a long ass while. Seeing as I didn't have his number any more I was a bit apprehensive about picking a strange number. He finally announced himself as Amala guy and I was shocked cause our last conversation certainly didn't go down well with him. Said he stumbled on my number and thought it would be nice to catch up with me. He gave me a progress report on his new life and how well things are going for him.

Unfortunately this son of a gun forgot to mention that just a month or so ago, his wife-to-be gave birth to a child, a boy! Yes this real low life actually had a pregnant fiance who lived separate from him whilst he was trying to get with me! I mean this character went as far as writing me a long ass essay about how he always felt we were meant to be together. How he really thought he had found his future in me, Marriage! Arrrhhhhhhhhhh I'm so so sick of this. There I was thinking perhaps I'm being to harsh on him, I mean dude you couldn't financially afford me not to talk of a marital life. But now it makes more sense. You were saving for your future wife. Well Congrats to you and the lady. I couldn't careless what your explanation would be for this deceit and foolishness. We serve a forgiving God is the only reason why I can't be bothered with your sorry ass. Good luck and God bless!

When does it end? Does it ever end? When does a man stand up and call himself a MAN? I mean who are these Men???? This is already out of control and just getting worse daily. Are we not praying hard enuff? Or does God have another plan we can't yet foresee? You go clubbing it's married peeps with rings off, chatting anything and anyone that cares to listen! Some are lucky enuff to get a girl back to their "Bachelor Pads", yeah they keep it even after marriage so that their "smallies" aka Mistresses can hang out there with them till they can face going home to tell more lies to their sometimes lovely wives or other times not so lovely lol lol. Ahh well.

Let me say this very clearly, just because last year I chose to sometimes publish some foolish comments or did not react to those low lives that were playing Inspector Stupidity sending me hate emails and what not, does not not mean I will even read talkless of publish any bullocks this year. I mean it's not rocket science to know who I am, duhhhhhhh so stop acting as though I set out to be some mysterious blonde with no purpose in life. I thank God for where I am now and where I am heading. Sorry to those males who feel women have done worse to them please feel free to blog about this. I mean I can't imagine what else you will put in the blog other than: Ooo she cheated on me, OOO she loves money, OOO she still cheated on me, yesssss we have heard! The stories are always the same so hey tell us something new.

Anyhoo, I met a bunch of girls who are keen on sharing a tale or two. Once I gather the contents, I'll do a write up and you can all contribute via leaving Comments as u have always done so diligently lol lol. Remember if you have a tale to share do feel free to email it to