What a gorgeous day it is in the city!!! I just sent an email to my boyfriend telling him how sunny and nice it is in London. His response....."lol I cant imagine anyone in Lagos being happy about a hot sunny day, lol, wat a contrast". He got that right cause the Lagos sun nearly suffocated me a few weeks ago! Yeah I had to attend my cousins' wedding doing the whole Bridesmaid thing. It was definitely one of the most organised weddings I have ever been to so that was a big plus. Now I'm back to work and totally swamped!!! Ahh well I need to pay those bills so I best be grateful for a job.
Music Guy is one of my very old frogs from many years ago. I met Music Guy through a male family friend. I was called at the last minute whether I would like to come out clubbing. My answer was a quick Yes as I had been stuck at home with my mum the whole day and in as much as I love her I was craving going out that hot summer night. A car pulled into my driveway with 3 men and I jumped in. On our way to the club, one of the guy's stood out in the car. They were playing a CD that had been compiled by him, in fact actually song by him. At first I thought they were making it up but as the song went on I realised it was really him singing. I was blown away and wanted to ask him so many things to do with music. You see I have a passion for music, a passion so big it could at the time make or break me.
We got to the club and Music guy and I could not get enough of each other. It was as though we were friends from another life. We danced, we sat, we spoke, laughed, danced more then I got dropped off at home. We exchanged numbers and I was of cause looking forward to hearing from him. He called almost immediately as he got home and we spoke till day break and slept off. A week after he invited me to his crib and I was mentally there before I was even really there. It's amazing how excited you can get over a man! Anyway I got into his house and he had a mini recording studio thingy going on. Boyyyy was I tripped! I immediately jumped on his Mic, like a baby started fiddling on anything and everything and of cos demanded that he recorded my singing. This went on for hours never ending and I couldn't get enough of my singing lol lol. I even progressed to song writing, it just felt liberating.
I was hooked on this brother. I felt like shutting everything else down and just focusing my music energy on us. I started dreaming of making good music with him, who knows maybe he could even produce me. In reality, this brother had no money, no car, no credit cards, in short was probably surviving on Air LOLLLL. He was looking for a new job and in the meantime thought to focus his energy on music. That means everything we did had to be free. Movies were of cos free cos we watched it in his crib, eating not so free cos I will pay for it, transportation not free cos I paid, in short the only free thing we shared was Music.
Then the dreaded day came. I had been going on like a love sick rabbit obsessing over this dude and my friends were convinced I had lost my mind. They couldn't understand what this guy was doing for me. I guess I was looking for a form of escape, rebellion, young age crisis lol. So I decided to ask him straight where our friendship was leading to? He said he couldn't commit but wouldn't want to lose what we had going on. My heart broke in a million separate ways and I couldn't breathe. What can't you commit to? I mean I have overlooked the fact that you can't give me the basics and still want to be with you and yet you can't commit? Come on you know we suit each other bla bla BS. Gosh I had a lot of BS going on back then ooo. He tried his best to calm me down as I was crying uncontrollably. Before I could say "Music", dude stopped picking my calls, and at random intervals will call asking if I still wanted to carry on recording or writing music. I would say No thank you. At least I was tryna hold on to pride.
Then one sweet day, a friend of mine called me after Church, she couldn't contain herself! She was like figurella I just saw Music guy with a pregnant woman! I heard him introducing her as his fiance. I of cos told her to get off my phone that what sort of silly joke is that? I mean this is a guy that didn't look like he could feed himself talk less of 3 people (counting the baby to be). This call was barely 2 weeks after I had decided to cut him off. I immediately started digging around a bit more, contacting people that I know go to that Church. All of them said the same thing. they knew him very well as husband to this lady.
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Where the Heck had she been??? I mean did she take a mini-vacation that became a prolonged one? I was just too shocked for words! I mean he had a wife to be and I had zero clue cos of what I perceived as his poor situation/ artist life style. LOL LOL what a joke even a broke guy will still play the fields. The Good News is he got a wife, found a job and then a car, in short he had found life again. Bad News is he was still hooked on me or should I say hooked on the "other me". The me that I so got rid off after being played by a broke ass! I mean we started as friends, I felt I had sacrificed a lot and I was still looking to go to the next level with him, I sure was a joker. Hmmmm fellow bloggers y'all should be real. How many of you are the Bank Account/The Money spender in your relationship? Or what you perceive to be a relationship? In short how many of you do all the spending on a man and still think you are in love?
Monday 28 April 2008
Thursday 10 April 2008
The Good Guy
Dundee Brother looks like your prayers have finally been answered! Yes I do have a tale to tell about a guy who was nothing but a breathe of fresh air. So kind at heart, had too much love to give and before I knew it fear gripped me for various reasons and I was gone! I just left him without any obvious warnings so he didn't even have time to prepare for my departure.
I met Good Guy at his parents house in Lagos over xmas. He had not been home in over a decade. They were having a celebratory/ welcome home party for him and his brother. I felt an immediate shyness when I got into their house as the last time we ever saw I was still wearing those cute Cinderella dresses lol. He had brothers my age so I use to play with them and always looked at him as much older. Now things had changed. I was now a woman and certainly more confident to talk to any guy however old. He served my family food and drinks then sat next to me to catch up on all the years. We spoke for what seemed like forever and decided to keep in touch via email. We took a few pictures with our families and said our good byes.
I got home and started having mixed feelings cause though I had a boyfriend at the time, it had not been working out. I mean I had just found out a few months before xmas that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with the same girl for what seemed like forever! He did the whole crying and pleading and before I knew it I decided to give him another chance. I guess I felt I pushed him to this other woman. I blamed myself for so long and just thought I could patch things up. Maybe I wasn't loving him enough, maybe I was too stubborn, uncontrollable but at the bottom of it all I couldn't believe the betrayal. (That being said, he alone would know the real reasons, for starters it coudl simply be he had fallen out of love with me and didn't know how to say so). I got back to London and 2 weeks after my return, Good guy sends an email. This was the beginning of a new friendship. He also had a girlfriend and they also were having serious issues. As God would have it be, the girl who my boyfriend was cheating with decided it was time to let the cat out. She actually came up to me at a club and said to my face I am still with your guy. Of cause I knew that was the end of my relationship.
2 months after my painful break up, Good guy informed me that he also needed a new start. He had called it off with his girl so we were both officially single. I flew to meet him in his State and that was the start of our long distance relationship. For the next 8 months this guy and I were at it full on. Never a day passed that I won't hear from him. In fact I was sure we both won't sleep well if we didn't speak at least once a day. I never had to worry when the next phone call would be, never had a doubt about his loyalty to me. Gosh Good guy spoilt me senseless. We flew back and forth each month so it never felt like there was any real distance. Thank God for Web cams as I remember spending nearly my whole weekends glued to my PC.
Then the cracks started happening around the 7th month. It was clear we were inseparable but now decision on what we wanted for our future started to vary. He has no intention of moving back to Naija ever. I always hope that I will be back home at some point in my life. He wanted me to move to his State but me London girl couldn't see myself adjusting so easily. I wanted him to come here for a bit then maybe we move to his State later. The whole thing kept dragging, the more we talked the less convinced I was about a future with him. I mean how could I claim to love a guy so much but not be ready to relocate for him? I guess I felt he also should show me his love by relocating for me. So he agreed. He agreed to come to Naija once more on holiday and decide carefully whether he will be able to move back home. By 3 days into our holiday, I was 100% sure that it won't work out for us. He wasn't even happy to be home spending his holiday there talk less of moving back permanently. I knew if I held on because of love I would inevitably be unhappy as well. So I called it off. Woke up and said it is over. I didn't want him to convince me otherwise.
Till today I can't believe I could be such a b*tch. I mean I could have waited for him to return to his State before breaking up. It was wrong and thoughtless. Karma is the real b*tch because the guy I dated after him is probably the biggest Frog I have ever met. That would be a story for another day. So Dundee guy happy now? I have finally given kudos to the one Good Guy I met in my life. Well actually my ex was the second Good guy and we are actually good friends now. But I'm wrong it means there are now 3 Good guys I have known and I am now dating one of them :-))
I met Good Guy at his parents house in Lagos over xmas. He had not been home in over a decade. They were having a celebratory/ welcome home party for him and his brother. I felt an immediate shyness when I got into their house as the last time we ever saw I was still wearing those cute Cinderella dresses lol. He had brothers my age so I use to play with them and always looked at him as much older. Now things had changed. I was now a woman and certainly more confident to talk to any guy however old. He served my family food and drinks then sat next to me to catch up on all the years. We spoke for what seemed like forever and decided to keep in touch via email. We took a few pictures with our families and said our good byes.
I got home and started having mixed feelings cause though I had a boyfriend at the time, it had not been working out. I mean I had just found out a few months before xmas that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with the same girl for what seemed like forever! He did the whole crying and pleading and before I knew it I decided to give him another chance. I guess I felt I pushed him to this other woman. I blamed myself for so long and just thought I could patch things up. Maybe I wasn't loving him enough, maybe I was too stubborn, uncontrollable but at the bottom of it all I couldn't believe the betrayal. (That being said, he alone would know the real reasons, for starters it coudl simply be he had fallen out of love with me and didn't know how to say so). I got back to London and 2 weeks after my return, Good guy sends an email. This was the beginning of a new friendship. He also had a girlfriend and they also were having serious issues. As God would have it be, the girl who my boyfriend was cheating with decided it was time to let the cat out. She actually came up to me at a club and said to my face I am still with your guy. Of cause I knew that was the end of my relationship.
2 months after my painful break up, Good guy informed me that he also needed a new start. He had called it off with his girl so we were both officially single. I flew to meet him in his State and that was the start of our long distance relationship. For the next 8 months this guy and I were at it full on. Never a day passed that I won't hear from him. In fact I was sure we both won't sleep well if we didn't speak at least once a day. I never had to worry when the next phone call would be, never had a doubt about his loyalty to me. Gosh Good guy spoilt me senseless. We flew back and forth each month so it never felt like there was any real distance. Thank God for Web cams as I remember spending nearly my whole weekends glued to my PC.
Then the cracks started happening around the 7th month. It was clear we were inseparable but now decision on what we wanted for our future started to vary. He has no intention of moving back to Naija ever. I always hope that I will be back home at some point in my life. He wanted me to move to his State but me London girl couldn't see myself adjusting so easily. I wanted him to come here for a bit then maybe we move to his State later. The whole thing kept dragging, the more we talked the less convinced I was about a future with him. I mean how could I claim to love a guy so much but not be ready to relocate for him? I guess I felt he also should show me his love by relocating for me. So he agreed. He agreed to come to Naija once more on holiday and decide carefully whether he will be able to move back home. By 3 days into our holiday, I was 100% sure that it won't work out for us. He wasn't even happy to be home spending his holiday there talk less of moving back permanently. I knew if I held on because of love I would inevitably be unhappy as well. So I called it off. Woke up and said it is over. I didn't want him to convince me otherwise.
Till today I can't believe I could be such a b*tch. I mean I could have waited for him to return to his State before breaking up. It was wrong and thoughtless. Karma is the real b*tch because the guy I dated after him is probably the biggest Frog I have ever met. That would be a story for another day. So Dundee guy happy now? I have finally given kudos to the one Good Guy I met in my life. Well actually my ex was the second Good guy and we are actually good friends now. But I'm wrong it means there are now 3 Good guys I have known and I am now dating one of them :-))
Tuesday 8 April 2008
I Love that Booty Guy
Today might as well be Monday because I feel the same way I did yesterday which is "I would rather be in bed". The only problem is my central heating decided it was time to go nuts and British Gas sent some incompetent Engineer 3 times now who is no closer to resolving the issue. Funny thing is you will think the service they are offering is free since all they can say is "Bare with us, we are ordering one part after another". Hisssssssss. O well thank goodness for portable heaters but damn those things run up electricity bill sha. It's always billssss. Ok on a bright note, I am very well, I am full of hope, and I am just grateful that the sun still shines even with the dreadful cold out there...........
My weekend was actually not half bad. Friday went over to spend the weekend with an old female friend of mine. After much gist, had an early night so woke up Saturday to more gist (I love my girlfriends, it's always refreshing talking about anything with them). Then we set out to a baby shower that was so much fun I was pleased I attended. But the highlight of it all was a wedding I attended. For all yea Yoruba people, you will understand when I say it was a proper o-wam-be party, for all the Faji Mama's and Papa's in town. Of cos you had the young ones lurking around doing their best to look too cool for the cold. It was freezing that nite but thankfully it was held in a very gorgeous hall. My girl and I step into the hall and the eyes that met us were so frightening I decided not to make any eye contact.
I mean guys had shades on, big chains on, colourful suits on, funny hair styles on, funny accents on, funny shoes on, in short it was a show I had not seen in a long ass while. Perhaps I wanted to drop and laugh at the sight of many but of cos that would be awfully rude. Granted there were decently dressed people as well and the Bride and Groom looked gorgeous so that's all that really matters. As I wasn't actually invited for this wedding I kept pleading with my girl to do quick and let's fade. We were there to pick up her cousin and head to another occasion but that wasn't happening as fast as I had anticipated. The cousin introduced us to some friends of hers. Most of them had babies at home and they were just out having a good time. One lady stood out with a big rock on her finger. I was still admiring it when she goes, o yeah I just got engaged, bla bla, Congratsss is all I could say and took my eyes off. The cousin pointed out who the husband to be was and I just smiled.
That smile became a very big frown about 10 minutes after that. I was backing the entrance door talking to my girl when a guy comes directly into my face with alcohol breathe and starts complementing my ass! He was so excited about it and kept walking in a circle around me to check me out. Okkkkk I would have been slightly flattered if not for the shock I was going through. This was "Big Rock, I am just engaged" woman's fiance! As in the dude they just showed me is her husband to be! Come on! He kept asking for my number and I kept giving him a sarcastic laugh (me being polite). Finally my male cousin came to my rescue and dude bounces off. I was so disgusted and felt sorry for the "Big Rock" lady. I mean no rock can make me happy to see my husband publicly checking another girl's ass now?
To quickly answer the Blogger called Lekan who left a comment on my last post, I do not have any recommendations for guys. I do however feel very sorry for them. Only if a man is deaf,dumb, or just a nuisance does he not know right from wrong. Every situation is about choices. Ok this guy at wedding had his fiance there and was still out to play! How exactly am I to advise him? "Amala guy" had a pregnant girlfriend (unknown to me and so many others),and was still chasing me with his cheapness, making a fool of himself. Pls Lekan what advise do we give him? "Church guy" thought it was sleek to use his spirituality to mislead women and deceive the lady who is now his wife. Pls what advise do I give? "Wales guy" thought it would be fun to play 2 ladies and justify it as "I am just exploring the two of you to make a decision". So you see Lekan in all my post these men are well aware of Right and Wrong. Let them make the choice. I decided to humour myself and others by starting this blog and so shall it be.
My weekend was actually not half bad. Friday went over to spend the weekend with an old female friend of mine. After much gist, had an early night so woke up Saturday to more gist (I love my girlfriends, it's always refreshing talking about anything with them). Then we set out to a baby shower that was so much fun I was pleased I attended. But the highlight of it all was a wedding I attended. For all yea Yoruba people, you will understand when I say it was a proper o-wam-be party, for all the Faji Mama's and Papa's in town. Of cos you had the young ones lurking around doing their best to look too cool for the cold. It was freezing that nite but thankfully it was held in a very gorgeous hall. My girl and I step into the hall and the eyes that met us were so frightening I decided not to make any eye contact.
I mean guys had shades on, big chains on, colourful suits on, funny hair styles on, funny accents on, funny shoes on, in short it was a show I had not seen in a long ass while. Perhaps I wanted to drop and laugh at the sight of many but of cos that would be awfully rude. Granted there were decently dressed people as well and the Bride and Groom looked gorgeous so that's all that really matters. As I wasn't actually invited for this wedding I kept pleading with my girl to do quick and let's fade. We were there to pick up her cousin and head to another occasion but that wasn't happening as fast as I had anticipated. The cousin introduced us to some friends of hers. Most of them had babies at home and they were just out having a good time. One lady stood out with a big rock on her finger. I was still admiring it when she goes, o yeah I just got engaged, bla bla, Congratsss is all I could say and took my eyes off. The cousin pointed out who the husband to be was and I just smiled.
That smile became a very big frown about 10 minutes after that. I was backing the entrance door talking to my girl when a guy comes directly into my face with alcohol breathe and starts complementing my ass! He was so excited about it and kept walking in a circle around me to check me out. Okkkkk I would have been slightly flattered if not for the shock I was going through. This was "Big Rock, I am just engaged" woman's fiance! As in the dude they just showed me is her husband to be! Come on! He kept asking for my number and I kept giving him a sarcastic laugh (me being polite). Finally my male cousin came to my rescue and dude bounces off. I was so disgusted and felt sorry for the "Big Rock" lady. I mean no rock can make me happy to see my husband publicly checking another girl's ass now?
To quickly answer the Blogger called Lekan who left a comment on my last post, I do not have any recommendations for guys. I do however feel very sorry for them. Only if a man is deaf,dumb, or just a nuisance does he not know right from wrong. Every situation is about choices. Ok this guy at wedding had his fiance there and was still out to play! How exactly am I to advise him? "Amala guy" had a pregnant girlfriend (unknown to me and so many others),and was still chasing me with his cheapness, making a fool of himself. Pls Lekan what advise do we give him? "Church guy" thought it was sleek to use his spirituality to mislead women and deceive the lady who is now his wife. Pls what advise do I give? "Wales guy" thought it would be fun to play 2 ladies and justify it as "I am just exploring the two of you to make a decision". So you see Lekan in all my post these men are well aware of Right and Wrong. Let them make the choice. I decided to humour myself and others by starting this blog and so shall it be.
Thursday 3 April 2008
Waiting For a Star to Fall
How's everyone doing? Hope great! Well the week is finally coming to an end and I think it went by really quickly. Wish my outstanding bills would be paid really quickly as well. Wish I could gather all owed money from last year and use it to sort out these bills. But when the likes of "Somebody Else's guy aka Cry baby guy" have decided it's best to act a fool and just not pay back I am left pondering on how I ever called him a Star? I must have been feeling like a generous monkey last year as I also loaned a guy from a group called JJC and 419 Squad money lol lol. Like a friend said, I heard the name of the group and still thought he will pay back? LOLLL.
He is on a solo career making good looking videos but cannot pay me back. I also called him a Star? In his own case I felt sorry for him and I admired his courage to still keep trying to break the Naija music industry when all else was failing for him. Well he is up for one award or another so why not pay back? Guess I'm moaning cos my expenses keep growing and taxes don't seem to be dropping any time soon. So even though I earn well I'm still shocked at how fast money disappears! Ahhh well enough about my worries, the Lord will take care of my tomorrow so it's all good. Truth be told I know I am mightily blessed and it is only a matter of time before I won't have to worry about bills any more, Amen!
Tell me, does a Star have to stop shining at some point? Is it inevitable? Or is it whoever has the magic cloth to rub the star back to life that wins? I mean here I am surrounded by friends who are feeling so in love now and some even feel the love is too much and fear the men are too good for them. Whoaaa that's so beautiful, I'm actually entering a phase where no one is calling men frogs any more? Or maybe it's with age. Perhaps we get older and start tolerating more, accepting more, or if I want to be negative I'll say perhaps we start compromising more for what we justify as right reasons, taking excuses more no matter how foolish the men sound. I really don't know but I must say I feel more relaxed knowing that friends are going through the love feeling. I pray they never have to cry as hard as some of us have, I pray they have left a cushion to fall back on if it all fails. I will keep trying to be an optimist because I have no choice in the matter.
Now I have a Star and he shines on so gracefully. I can only pray he keeps shining. I have no say about tomorrow. I can only live for today and hope for the best. I'm to meet old friends this weekend so lets see what sort of stories I hear. So in the spirit of optimism lets all have a good fun weekend I hope :-)
He is on a solo career making good looking videos but cannot pay me back. I also called him a Star? In his own case I felt sorry for him and I admired his courage to still keep trying to break the Naija music industry when all else was failing for him. Well he is up for one award or another so why not pay back? Guess I'm moaning cos my expenses keep growing and taxes don't seem to be dropping any time soon. So even though I earn well I'm still shocked at how fast money disappears! Ahhh well enough about my worries, the Lord will take care of my tomorrow so it's all good. Truth be told I know I am mightily blessed and it is only a matter of time before I won't have to worry about bills any more, Amen!
Tell me, does a Star have to stop shining at some point? Is it inevitable? Or is it whoever has the magic cloth to rub the star back to life that wins? I mean here I am surrounded by friends who are feeling so in love now and some even feel the love is too much and fear the men are too good for them. Whoaaa that's so beautiful, I'm actually entering a phase where no one is calling men frogs any more? Or maybe it's with age. Perhaps we get older and start tolerating more, accepting more, or if I want to be negative I'll say perhaps we start compromising more for what we justify as right reasons, taking excuses more no matter how foolish the men sound. I really don't know but I must say I feel more relaxed knowing that friends are going through the love feeling. I pray they never have to cry as hard as some of us have, I pray they have left a cushion to fall back on if it all fails. I will keep trying to be an optimist because I have no choice in the matter.
Now I have a Star and he shines on so gracefully. I can only pray he keeps shining. I have no say about tomorrow. I can only live for today and hope for the best. I'm to meet old friends this weekend so lets see what sort of stories I hear. So in the spirit of optimism lets all have a good fun weekend I hope :-)
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