The Best Things in Life are Free.......

I forget how tiring the festive season can be especially when I have to start cracking my head for what gifts to get my loved ones. It's been a busy but fantastic last 1 month for me. I have gained a valuable friend and I can't thank him enough for returning laughter into my life. I tell people all the time that I hardly come across peeps that make me laugh, well this guy sure does and with so much ease as if he were designed to just always make sure I have at least a smile. His genuine heart is reminiscent of someone that was once dear to me and now I know how to embrace it better rather than be pessimistic about it. I am very appreciative of him and the free gift he brought back into my life. He has left a refreshingly pleasant song in my world and my prayer is that I will be dancing to this new tune for as long as the Lord will permit.

Sometimes we meet people and start to wonder why we even allowed any sort of frog to breathe near us let alone speak. But hey our stories will always differ so no need questioning one's self on why it is only you that keeps meeting one frog or the other. I have so much positive things going for me and perhaps that's where I find the strength to laugh at the comedy that some of those frogs brought my way. Ooo before I forget, congrats to "Church guy" who apparently just tied the knot. May God bless that union and I can only pray you have genuinely resolved your issues. If not, God knows best.

I am ending the year on a high and I can only pray this will be the story for all. If not don't despair cos if you look hard enough you will still see the light shining at the end of the tunnel. It has been a wonderful year and I am looking forward to what lies ahead. Thanks to all for taking time out to share in my stories and the stories of others I wrote about. Which reminds me, a male friend of mine asked me to be an agony aunt for him. Basically he started dating a girl a year ago and just like most relationships they had their down moments where he wasn't so sure they belonged together. On one of those occasions when things were not so bright for them, he started talking to an old friend who is a female and she informed him that she was single and had the hots for him. They started talking more even though he had told her about his girlfriend but this old female friend didn't seem to care much for that.

The old female friend insisted on coming down to spend the weekend with him as she is based far away from him. Well his girlfriend is also far far away so he thought what the heck, no harm done by letting her come down. The weekend ended on a cool and exciting note for him but a week later his actual girlfriend and him made up and he started feeling bad about hosting this other female. Stylishly he began to reduce his phone calls with the aim of trying to disappear fully from that scene. Unfortunately for him, the other girl was already hooked and she sure wasn't ready to let him go. Well now she has asked to spend the festive season with him and because he conveniently hasn't told her that he has made up with his girlfriend, she expects him to be over the moon about them spending the time together. The thing is his girlfriend will be out of town during this season but he says his guilt is already consuming him so he refuses to carry on seeing or speaking to this girl on the side.

Although the truth will set you free it doesn't mean that those involved won't get hurt. Ahh well he knows what needs to be done so I really don't need to say anything. Guess sometimes we get side tracked in life but it's how you get back on your track that matters. Some people never get back and carry on living foolishly.

Have a Lovely and Prosperous festive season...........

Double lives Guy

I am yet to come across a Friday that makes me unhappy! Finally I can catch up on that much needed sleep as I got a bit of insomnia going on so I tend to look a hot mess on my daily journey to work. Anyhoo I made it to the theatre last nite. I am so proud of myself I actually convinced a Naija guy to take me to see a Show! I saw Footloose, rather childish but nonetheless entertaining. Apart from my Father who has seen Lion King 3 times, I don't know too many guys that are into theatre moves. Well guess u can say I am still at the honey moon stage where the guy will do his best to impress you. We even had dinner before the show so that was very cool as well. Thanks to those that recommended that Restaurant "Katana at the International", every bite of my food was just a delight!

Well today I stumbled upon an article in the Metro about a lady who stabbed her Lover's wife 43 times out of rage and jealousy that had been consuming her. The story was reminiscent of a colleague of mine just that my colleague thankfully didn't go and kill the other lady. I know love drives people to do all sorts of weird things but I start to question whether it was ever love to begin with? I'll use my colleagues story to explain what led to this lady becoming a murderer.

Natasha met her boyfriend 7 years ago at her then work place. They were both sales assistant in a store and even ended up attending the same University so they had more than enuff time to know about each other. They are Asians, as most will know it is not customary to be seen dating a guy but hey guess people find a way around these things. She was undeniably in love, and she felt her guy was on that same page too. Her parents had brought tonnes of men to see her for marriage but she refused saying she wanted to do a "Love marriage" as they call it. Her parents decided to give her a bit of space to explore that route.

Natasha and her man started making future plans. He promised her the world and she in turn promised him her all. They were inseparable until they both got city jobs and time became their biggest enemy. Their ritual of meeting each other after school became more of phone calls and sporadic meetings. Natasha started noticing a few changes in her man, the usual, "I'll call you back" and no call comes through or the "We should do something this wknd" but no dates come through. Out of love she ignored these little warnings and was holding on to the fact that she had known this guy for 7 years and they had been wonderful years for her.

What was about to happen one bright morning in the cold of November last year was something that would change her life and perception of men forever. Her man aka "Double lives guy" came to Natasha's house unannounced before she left for work. He knocked on her front door and luckily for him she was the one that opened. She quickly shut the door behind her asking him what he was doing there as her parents were at home. He started crying, and she just looked at him puzzled?

Double Lives Guy: Natasha there is something I need to tell you.
Natasha: What is it? I have never seen you cry you are scaring me!
Double Lives Guy: I am sooooo sorry, gosh what have I done? ...........I AM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
Natasha: Plssss can you quit playing with me! I am not amused, I suggest you tell me what you really came here for?
Double Lives Guy: I swear on my mother's life, they forced me, I was forced, gosh I am so stupid, it is you I love. Butttt I have to marry this girl tomorrow. Ok ok why don't we run away?
Natasha: (Her knees are weak and she is about to pass out), Why r u saying all these things to me? This isn't you? You always said you will fight for us! Fight for love! No one can force you into anything so pls shut-up!
Double Lives Guy: Does this mean you won't consider running away with me?
Natasha: No I won't. I love my family very much, I have even told them about you and they said when you are ready you should bring your mother and family over to propose! So No I will not be running anywhere.
Double Lives Guy: In that case, I have no choice but to beg for your forgiveness and wish you well. Good bye Natasha, you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

...........and just like that he left! Natasha ran back into the house and screamed for her sisters to come down. They all wept with her on hearing this sad sad News. She didn't show up to work for 2 weeks or so and it was hard getting through to her. By the time she got back, she had dropped from a size 12 to a size 8! I was in shock! I also cried cos I could see the pain and confusion in her eyes. For days on end she will get up and run to the bathroom to cry. She is Muslim, I am Christian but at this point I just needed God to console her fully. I prayed for her / with her daily and a year later she has bounced back.

Natasha found out so many things. Double Lives Guy did indeed get married that day but it was not a forced marriage. Apparently he had been dating the other girl for 4 years! This wicked soul did not think it right to break up with Natasha. 7 years of her adult life gone like that. Ahhh well I'm happy she didn't marry him. Perhaps the signs were there and she refused to take hid but apparently the other lady he married is from another town and they don't have any mutual friends that might have raised alarm bells. The wife has now moved into London and Natasha spots her around town driving a luxurious car and looking hot and of cos she keeps thinking to herself perhaps I wasn't pretty enough, maybe he got irritated with my kindness (believe me this girl is too much like an Angel!)

In fact I am sure this is one of the few angels in this world! Her heart is so pure, when she speaks you can sense all the naivety in her. She sees only good in people..............It is because of people like her I feel sad for those blogggers who come here writing nothing significant and really thinking they have gotten a "point" across to me???? I laugh. I pray people find the strength to laugh more about their past and just get on with it and move on, Amen!

Reflecting

Hi All, it's been a minute. I'm having one of those Monday's where having lunch will be the highlight of my day. Well guess I have been preoccupied getting to know a new guy but as always only time will tell. I am not looking for Mr Right, in fact that will be a bore but I am looking for Mr Realistic. The sort of guy that knows there is no perfect woman out there, the one that leaves room for mistakes to be made, the one that is big enuff to over look imperfections and work with the other great qualities the woman displays. Most importantly the sort of guy that has a forgiving heart and apologises when he knows he is wrong rather than try to justify the wrong, arhhhh that's just off putting. Forgot to mention, the one that just has to find the energy to wake up for Church! lollol.

I have gotten to a stage where I need a man to convince me why it is worth my time to be in a relationship. Day by day my realisation shows me that I have the propensity to be happy on my own. I mean it is always a bonus if someone wants to add to that happiness but it is damn irritating when they want to steal out of it and leave you hanging. It's like the same tired routine of wine, dine, cinema, more wine and dine but now you know better than to "let yourself go" with the guy. So you get to the crunch where it is either left or right, no middle ground and trust the guy to always come up with the lets stay in the middle approach aka I am still getting to know you. Yeah sure just like you getting to know how many others. I have no problem with this whole lets know each other stuff but you see me I am tired of knowing guys. I feel like just going to pull one out of the past. I know enuff about a few to know that I would have been happy with them if not for my then wandering heart.

I always felt there was more out there, even the ones that did their best to convince me we were meant to spend the rest of our lives with each other I just shied away. Now I'm not sure what I was looking for. Think I got greedy, I think cos I always felt I could get anyone I wanted I missed my boat. Now I want that boat to just turn back and let me hop on for the last time. I know better now and I am not scared to admit my wrongs. In fact its best I admit I was so wrong so as to avoid meeting mediocre men. What they don't understand is I have had way more than my fair share of Queen treatment. Why on earth would I now settle for average? Nah so long as there is youth in me I shall not just settle for the heck of it..........hopefully I won't have to.

To the Prince's I met, thanks for showing me how a princess should be treated cos at least now I have a standard I expect. A Prince once wrote to me:

Our Love…
An unthinkable event
You and me
Two wandering hearts
Once worlds apart
Even still
But now in tune

Though far apart
Each moment resides
Drenched in warm daydreams
Of what may come
We are blessed
In comfort of our connection

Our Love
A tad trying sometimes
Takes console
At every forward path
To reunite in awe
Of our overwhelming love

Five Pounds Guy

I keep forgetting I can use my Blog to talk about anything really. Although that being said the Blog name is specific to the different frogs we have in town. O well, I had one of the most fun weekends ever this year for me. Friday, birthday party at some lovely Champagne bar and thankfully an old friend took me along so drinks were on him and the highlight was the duck and rice I organised after the bar. Damnnn thinking of it is making me really hungry! Saturday attended a Surprise party then headed for a Nov of Birthdays bash, lets just say I got so wasted that by the time my girl dropped me at home I realised I forgot my house keys in my sister's bag and she was still at the club! Anyway I have a sitting area just before u get into my main hse so I crashed there till she got home. Sunday, went to Church got madly uplifted then went for yet again another birthday gathering. Food was excessive and drinks overflowing but I just respected myself and stayed away from the alcohol. By Monday, I looked like a zombie (understandably) cos I sure hadn't slept enuff.

Today I feel a bit better but I'm getting mad butterflies in my tummy cos a special person is coming into town tomorrow and its going to be a turning point for us. However things turn out, this dude has certainly put Hope back in my life that there are still a few good men out there. Trust I'll be keeping you guys updated. As he is one of my biggest Blog fans, I expect he will do his best to stay well behaved or else he might just get a Post dedicated to him (Heaven forbid).

Ayt, my friend once told me a story I found rather hilarious and irritating all at once! Five pound guy is someone who troubled Eugena for a while. Tried his best to get her to go on just one date but she never agreed. Eugena for starters is a high-flying career babe who always has a suit case packed up cos she never knows what part of the world her job will take her to at any given time. So on this one occassion, Eugena was getting ready for one of her trips. She had called her cab and had about 5 hours to spare before her flight. Her phone rang and to her dismay it was Five pound guy.

Five pound guy asked if they could meet up for lunch that day and she told him she was on her way out of the country. He then told her to call off her cab and he will take her to the airport. Eugena was in one of her good moods (hard to find especially if she is talking to a guy) and she told him to get to hers in the next hour or else she'll just take her cab. He was ecstatic seeing as this for him would have been a one shot moment to leave an impression on her. Surprisingly he got to her house 40 mins after that call. Eugena was impressed as this dude leaves South of London and she lives in the North so according to her calculation he must have been speeding down. Anyway as they proceeded to the airport, the dude started teasing that hope she won't mind paying for his petrol since she was going to pay for a cab perhaps she can just transfer that money to the tank of his car!

Eugena gave him her "ugly look" and at that point she thought okkkk maybe this guy is so tensed he is cracking very dry jokes. They finally got to the airport in one piece and Five pound guy off loaded her bags and they checked her in. Eugena had 2 hours to spare before her flight so she offered to take him for lunch and she will pay. He seemed overly excited. He ordered as much as his tummy would allow him and spoke uncontrollably about nothing of significance. When they were done, Five pounds guy escorted Eugena to the Departure gate. As they were hugging and saying their final good bye, sumtin earth shaking happened.

Five pound guy: Eugena are u not forgetting something?
Eugena: (In her head she was thinking don't tell me he wants a kiss or what??), Five pound what did I forget?
Five pound guy: I can't believe you were about to get on the plane without giving me the money for the parking?
Eugena: R u having a dry joke moment again?
Five pound guy: Not at all, I think £5 should cover the parking.
Eugena: (In her head thinking God what have I done to deserve this act of mere embarrassment and cheapness!!), she gets her purse out and says, Five pound guy I only have £10 note on me.
Five pound guy: Ok give me the £10 I will give you your change when you get back from your trip.
Eugena: (In her head, Yesssuuusssss!!!!) That's ok, keep the change!
Five Pound guy: U r very kind thanks. Bye and have a safe trip.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Rewindddddddddd, did I mention that due to Eugena's position at her work place, all her expenses are paid for? Meaning if she je-je-ly took her cab, the company would have paid for it! My poor friend was too embarrassed to share this story as the guy is 31 years old!!!! and to the best of her knowledge has an ok job. I mean where has the pride of men gone!!!! Goshhhh it's really irritating cos Heaven knows it is not about the money, it is about how this guy went about things! If you look at your wallet and u realise you cannot afford a "babe" then why aim to get her? Aim lower ja re!!!

Ok Blogville I hope this makes u laugh a little. Ooo by the way of cos Eugena deleted his number immediately and she has since then decided to just stick to her first instincts when it comes to guys. As we tend to forget "Jand is a leveller".............

Leech Guy

Thank God it is Midweek. Think I'm getting the winter blues, waking up is now such a daily struggle. O well in everything I still give thanks for a good and healthy life. I haven't had time to gather other people's frog encounters but a friend of mine summarised one she just recently went through. Due to the fact that I wasn't involved in this tale, I will do my best to point out the unfortunate part to her tale.

Leech guy met Sharon at a party (very popular meeting place eh), and after a good nite of dancing and chatting they exchanged numbers. Sharon is in a school outside London while Leech Guy works in London. Over the course of many weeks, Leech use to come and visit Sharon, hang out with her friends and pretty much got very familiar with her environment. Sharon grew fond of him cos of all the time and effort he use to put into coming down to see her. Finally she agreed to become his girlfriend. She initially played it down because she wanted to watch their relationship for a bit rather than announce she has a man and in no time telling people it's over. After 2 months, she was still getting the butterfly effects in her tummy so she became proud of her man and was ready to shout it on the roof top that she was on an all time high.

Sharon started coming down to London to spend time with her man in an attempt to know his group of friends as well. She got along with most of them and at the time she didn't feel any threat to her relationship. Until one day she checked good old Facebook for the daily feed and saw that a girl had left a message that sounded a bit more than just a mere friend......"Miss u loads". Sharon decides to ask Leech who that is, of cos he played it down and said it was an old friend he went to high school with back in Naija. Not trying to be paranoid, she let any negative thought that was building go. Then the wall messages from this babe started increasing. Most times they were non harmful, daily rantings so she still chose to ignore it. Then the babe started sending him Facebook gifts and so Sharon asked once again who this babe was? Leech guy said ok fine, she is an ex-girlfriend of mine, our relationship finished in January but she insisted we remain friends. Now that she knows I have u, she is trying her hardest to get attention and cause trouble.

At this point Sharon was very uncomfortable and cos she was 6 months into the relationship she didn't find it easy following her instinct that sumtin nasty was cooking in that dude's kitchen! She went on holiday with friends, and thought to herself that will be a good time to reflect on her current predicament. I mean why should a girl be acting so "crazy" as Leech guy was tryna insinuate if the dude isn't encouraging it? She didn't want to be forward and start contacting the girl cos that would show that she had trust issues. Leech kept calling her during the holiday and reassured her about their relationship. He even sent money for her to do some clothes shopping for him. Sharon says her friends were always irritated with how much time she spent selecting things for this guy and it was biting into her holiday fun time. Just cos she wanted to make sure he was impressed with her selection. Her compensation was that she could spend a bit on herself as well and hey this was her boify after all so she did it wholeheartedly.

On her return to London, Sharon took the items she bought for Leech to his house. He had a male friend over so they were all catching up on gist when suddenly the front door was being unlocked form the outside and then a lady walked in. She greeted the guys first then looked at Sharon and asked who she was? Sharon thought okkkk what an unfriendly stab at her, and she proceeded to say "I am Leech's girlfriend". The Door Lady stirred at Sharon blank and said are u having a laugh? "I am Leech's girlfriend of 2 years" in fact the house u r in right now belongs to me! I pay the mortgage here and allowed Leech to stay until he finds his place. I live at home with my family but this property belongs to me! So Sharon u see you cannot be Leech's girlfriend.

By the time Sharon looked back, Leech and his male friend had escaped through the back door........ whilst the ladies were exchanging info. The Loser of a Leech had run away leaving Sharon with a stranger Door Lady. God is good that Door Lady was not a lunatic so she escorted Sharon out of the ....... what was now to be her "ex-cheating boyfriend's house". Sharon was sooo maddddd that tears refused to come down her cheeks. I mean how was she to know? She put two and two together that the girl from Facebook was this Door Lady. If only she had contacted her rather than thinking how Leech will feel if he found out. I mean was she really so trusting? There were no real signs of him having a babe and no gossip in town to that effect.

Leech didn't contact Sharon until a week after this event and it was even through an offline message. Said he knows sorry cannot make the situation better and that she didn't deserve this but he really felt that he was going to find the strength to break up with his girlfriend before Sharon found out. He said it was work in progress and that Door lady (his girlfriend) came to his house earlier than she usually does.........LOLLLLLLLLLLLL emmmm plsss u guys are u enjoying this sort of plea???? No remorse, instead justification as to how his Best laid plans went to the bin! Word in town was that Leech was telling people that Sharon knew he had a girlfriend. So good old Sharon did one last thing, she sent an email addressed to both Leech and Door lady stating her defense and making sure Leech can take comfort in knowing that Life itself will teach him a lesson. She isn't going to wish him ill, no need. The all seeing God will do justice to Leech. She prayed for Door Lady that she finds the strength to move on from such a 2 timing geezer but apparently she isn't about to throw 2 years of her relationship away. LOL LOL and yet we wonder why some marriages are doomed from the alter!!!

Randy Guy

Hello Blogville! It feels like ages since I last dropped a frog. Well as most of you "normal" people would imagine, the last frog brought a lot of negative energy from some readers who seem very passionate about this frog or in some instances who just harbour so much hatred towards me. Either way I am glad I wrote it and I don't apologise for anything...... I had a fantastic weekend and I'm in such high spirits today! Good way to start the week. I attended an engagement party on Saturday and I was thrown back at how lively the venue was. There probably was 4 girls to 1 guy but it didn't matter cos we all formed our dancing groups and made the most of the nite. As I said in a previous post, my frog days are well over but since a few friends have insisted we check the archives for tales, one of them decided to volunteer a tale.

Randy frog is probably what some will call the average frog. I guess with age one starts to clearly see the difference between a guy that genuinely wants you for more than just a shag as opposed to the one who just needs you for a moment in his life. A few years ago, I attended a birthday party of Mandy's older sister who is married with a few kids. Mandy herself was already engaged to be married so it meant it was just my 2 other friends and I that were single of all the girls that came to the party. I was going through my "ugly smile" phase which has become quite a trademark for me so thankfully it worked as no frog even came close to leap on me. My 2 other girlfriends were not so lucky as they find it hard to be unfriendly. They did their best not to hand over their numbers to any guys but there were these 2 frogs that were so persistent. The 2 frogs escorted us to my car. I did my best to sound more unfriendly so as to scare them away. Of cos u could see their reaction going "biatch, is it cos we are not chatting u up" why don't u just hush it. I decided to just wait in the car. When my friends got in they said Figurella we just did sumtin not too smart. We both handed our numbers to these guys but they are actually correct numbers. Kelly gave Christine's number to the guy that chatted her up and Christine gave Kelly's number in return to her own frog. Therefore each guy was with the other girls number teh girl they actually didn't speak to.

I thought this would be the end ooo, at least let me get home before frogs start calling. Nooo, the guys immediately dialled the numbers and started asking where we were heading to after birthday party? Kelly says we are going home, the guys are not having any of this and pull up in front of my car to try and convince me to take the girls to Zen bar. Ha ha ha, we were there the week before and as always promised ourselves not to return to that venue (beansss we always seemed to end up there but not this nite). They asked if they could follow us home so I explained to them that my parents were around and the girls were sleeping over so that won't be possible. As I was driving off, I realised the guys were still tailing us!!! How scary. So I decided to do a detour and finally lost them. We got home and started laughing about the events that had just occurred then Christine's phone rang. Her own frog had figured out her silliness of giving her number to the other frog to confuse them. Cos she is so nice, she apologised and before I could say jack, these two were in full charge chatting mode.

They both realised that they had some friends in common and family friends n all. Christine starts to get more comfortable with the dude. He had a good job and from the sound of things was progressing rather fast career wise. In short he started getting some high marks in the toasting department. Before long, they decided to go on a dinner date. He said he will get her at 7pm but didn't come till 10pm. He then had the guts to say they should head straight to his house lol lol lol, Christine of cos flips and is like dude I haven't eaten anything so we sure need to get to a restaurant. Cos it was rather late they ended up going to a restaurant where she last ate with her ex boify (Omen). Surprisingly dinner goes well and she gets over his initial razzness. Then he insists they head back to his to watch a movie. She goes reluctantly and then he put on Hitch, she hates the film and tells him but he insisted they see it cos he found it hilarious. She keeps yawning to signify dude it's time u drop me at home, instead he kept going lets go upstairs and sleep lol lol. She says that's ok when your movie is over you can drop me. Once the film was over, Christine heads straight to the door and Randy guy starts sulking, she ignores him until they get to his car. While they are driving, he starts playing BoyzIImen, Maxwell, Joe.....then the CD starts skipping lol lol (Second Omen). He still insist that they can turn back and head to his and she just keeps laughing cos never seen a guy this persistent.

They get to her door step and he storms his way in. He refuses to leave her house and began asking if he could sleep over at her place. Christine starts to get extremely agitated cos she is now more certain than before that this dude is totally randy and is out for just a desert lol lol which in this case is her. He finally gets tired and heads home. By 7am he is already calling her that he needs to see her badly. Guess she woke up on the good side of the bed cos girlfriend finally succumbs to his plea to come and cook for him. He picks her up at midday and they head to his. He invited a few guy friends over and she cooks for all of them. I called her up looking for somewhere to hang but she wasn't comfortable enuff to invite me to his so I told her to just be careful. As u can imagine dude still kept trying to get her into his bed. Finally he gets the message and drops her at home. Lets just say she never heard from him again. Guess he woke up and realised that his Randy Razzness wasn't gonna get him home with her that nite lol. Though the first week was odd for her cos she had gotten use to his phone calls n all, by the 2nd week she was just thankful she caught him out on time as to what his sleazy game plan was.

Hmmmm let me be real, Christine was hurt for a while cos she really thought they were building towards a relationship. She tried calling him a few times and he gave very abrupt responses like "look can I call u back? I'm in the middle of sumtin" ..... I pleaded with her to just hold on to pride. Like I said earlier he was ticking all the right boxes for her and she couldn't place her finger as to why he will only want to get down with her and not want anything more than that. The reason became clear months later..........

Christine found out that he had a live in girlfriend!!!! who was out of town for a bit and that's why he kept looking for a girl who could cook and give him bedroom deserts whilst his babe was away. She finally got to meet him and his girlfriend at Cafe Royale and he of cos blanked her (standardddd) and she just thanked God for her lucky escape.

It's a Frogs World....................

Somebody Else's Guy (aka Cry baby Guy)

There are things we do that defy logic and do not follow the normal unwritten rules of how a woman should handle a potential or just a toaster. This guy was certainly one that brought out the extreme end of kindness from me and also happens to be the reason I decided to start my frog tales. Each day I thank God for my strong personality, even times when I feel like emotionally this is too much for one person, I still find myself smiling in the morning. So you see fellow bloggers "Joy sure does come in the morning, and the old things shall pass away"......but before I embrace my new Prince, I needed to get this story out of me so that women who are successful at such a young age and unmarried must be constantly reminded that there are men that are just out to leech on u and won't loose a heart beat over your down fall. This was a situation where I wanted to do things differently, ignore the fact that he was a self-funding student (aka broke ass) but he came across as a focused and ambitious one. Seeing as free dinners had not gotten me far, I was still determined to rise above all of that. Now I know better, free dinner is still a better option than a "I will be rich some day" sort of guy. News Flash I am already rich if not materially but at least with the good Lord, my family, and loved ones.


It all began with Facebook. I got back from work one fine evening and I saw a message in my inbox from Cry baby. He complimented my pictures and asked about my well being. I initially didn't see any "Friends in Common" between us so I asked how he found me? Said he stumbled on my page via someones photo album but couldn't remember whose own. Anyway eventually I realised he knew one or two of my friends from High School so I decided to be friendly. We exchanged emails for quite a while and at the time I even had facebook access at work so he became my daily dose of excitement. Picture wise he looked good enuff, he seemed rather simple and came across as so focused. Said he was undergoing a full time MBA program and I sympathised with the amount of time and work that goes into it. He was in yankee and I was in London so he always flirted around with the idea of him coming down to see me.............Questions like where do u live back in Lagos, and what do you do for a living seemed like everyday normal things we ask from each other little did I know I was digging myself into a hole.


We moved to phone calls and he had an awfully sweet phone voice. On one of the days I called him, he sounded like a truck ran him down. He said he had just lost a loved one and had to fly back to Naija for the burial. I think because of how well we had connected I felt as though I needed to be there with him so since I couldn't be, I put on my clown hat and just tried to make him calm. It worked and throughout his stay in Naija I found myself being the one making him laugh before he went to sleep. We hadn't really discussed his status whether fully single, semi-single, chatting, or in a relationship. I decided to bring it up one nite, and he said well he wouldn't have started chatting me up if he wasn't single but that there was a girl he was "chatting" to a month before me. Apparently she had moved back to Naija to sort out her law school. I didn't sweat it cos Cry baby totally played it down, he even went as far as saying, "you have been there for me throughout this grieving period and he didn't ask it of me so he wanted to know if we could be an item, as in embark on a relationship". Thankfully I didn't jump on this offer cos I was wise enuff to realise he was an emotional mess and of cos it is easy to mix feelings of just friendship with a babe to mean sumtin else.


Cry baby was back in yankee and it was straight into exams for him. Of cos that whole period meant we couldn't talk as often and I found it hard cos now I was in a routine with this guy (fellow bloggers must understand that phone routine, where u start to expect calls at certain times and get slightly disappointed if it doesn't come thru). Close to the end of his exams, we played with the idea of him coming down but seeing as he was a student I knew that he was financially strained. I toyed with all sorts of ideas of how he could come down, air miles or.........I sha foolishly suggested we go half on the plane ticket (Plssss ooo bloggers don't bite my head off).

I told him to pay me back once he started his new job which obviously was to be after his MBA was over. LOL LOL of cos at this time I felt I was investing into a man (Depreciating asset), ooo I really was in la la land. I had never in my life found myself in this sort of situation where a guy cannot afford to fly down but I was so sure there was more to this brother. I was so sure that the supposed purity he put out there was genuine and in turn I was soooo sure my kindness will pay off. (It sure did not, no no it actually did cos I have been set free!!!).



Cry baby got to my town, and he didn't look as good as he did in the pictures but then again this was him with full hair and over grown facial hair so I knew a pretty face was hiding behind all of that. Seeing as he was still grieving, I made sure I took him to Church on two occasions and one of those Sundays, it was a very special day cos Pastor Adeboye was in town! I was so excited about this cos that man sure delivers the word of God! Cry baby was so thankful to be a part of the service and at this point I was getting comfortable, in fact I was sure I had moved up his radar. Not even 2 days into his trip down, his phone starts to ring, he had a London sim card which he had kept from a previous trip. As he picked the call, I immediately knew it was a lady he was speaking to. Initially I thot it was his sister and then I realised it was the girl who had moved to law schl.......lets call her Phone Girl. He spoke very relaxed with her but I noticed he found it hard telling her who he was with. Used the usual I am with a friend line and she didn't question him any further. I could make out some of their conversation cos he took the call next to me.


Lets just say Phone Girl got her name cos till today I never knew anyone could call somebody that amount of times. This girl called from Naija an average of 2 times per hour. Every hour ooo!!!I called Cry Baby's attention to this fact, he said that's how she is cos they had become good friends b4 she left for Law school and she hadn't settled down properly there so had no real friends to lean on bla bla. Okkkkk she aint your girl so this doesn't make sense? Finally by his 4th day with me, he changed his story to, well me and this girl had sumtin.... (AAAcccheeww=Big Sneeze from me) sumtin meaning what? Apparently they were going to start a relationship but he didn't feel he knew her well enuff before she left London. Rewinddddd.......which London is this dude talking about? This same London I live in? Emmmm Cry baby thot u said your last trip to London was to hang with family and friends? O yeah it was but that is when I met Phone Girl. U r kidding me right? Dude thot u said u did nothing but chat her up? O nooo did I forget to mention that she flew down to the States and I caught up with her there as well? U sure did forget that vital info! So where do the two of u stand? We are just friends, and although I was going to embark on a relationship with her, I met u and now I am so confused.


Confused.com sure couldn't solve this joke. My blood was steaming with serious confusion as well. Had this guy flown all the way down to just play my ass? Are there not enuff akata babes to play? Nahh there had to be more to this story. The remaining part of his trip was just a roller coaster. One minute I block out the possibility of another girl after all she wasn't even within his reach, the next minute I get into a tantrum with him and just blow off. On one of my off days, Cry baby guy decides to start cryinggggggg. He started using all his emotional baggage on me, said he doesn't know why he didn't just come out and be straight with me. He is in love with 2 women. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL u r what? Emmm which 2? Ooo Phone Girl and me. Arrh rational me starts to wipe his tears off and tell him to calm down cos I had never met a man that will cry so openly. He addresses the fact that he had just lost a very loved one and of cos that person would have been able to pray about the situation for him. He was certain that the woman he was to spend the rest of his life with was already in his courtyard so now he had to decide who it was.


I looked at this guy and looked at myself 24 times over. I say kaii, is it because this one is fine like Tyson Beckford I go chop this joke (the day he shaved all his hair off and cleaned up is when I shld have realised I was in trouble, the transformation was dramatic) ? An intelligent good looking student, who is broke, so all I had was a promise of tomorrow being a better day, future correct job and possibility of settling down to my future............Hmmmm I just kept silent. Cry baby and I said our good byes and we decided that we shall leave it all to God. You see, for whatever emotional madness I had found myself in, I was certain my God would get me out of it. Why? Cos I meant nothing but good for this fellow creature! I had put myself out there like a door mat. He was walking all over me and I justified it as him being sincere. After all, other guys would have 2, 3, 4 girls and never discuss them with me. This guy is saying it is me vs Phone Girl for his undivided attention (You shld see me laughing at myself right now, it's all good sha).


After weeks of prayers and I was not getting head ways with this clown, I woke up and wrote what would be my final good bye email to him. He ignored it and was still acting like I was partially his. Finally the day arrived where we tackled the issue head on.



Me: Cry baby are u saying u never saw my good bye email, I can't take this joke anymore? Cry baby: Yes I did, but I had nothing to say so I thot it's best I stay quiet. Me: What do u mean u have nothing to say? I mean I only wrote it cos u still haven't said who u are going to be with? Cry baby: Arrhh, I thot u understood that I am with Phone Girl. Me: WTFFFFF???? Since when? Cry baby: well I thot about it and decided I haven't given her a chance to know me, so she is to fly down and we will see where we stand. But I don't want to loose u either so all I'm saying is I am SINGLE but I just need to know if there is still anything btwn me and Phone girl. Imagine this low life! What had he done for me? Or what could he do for me? Last time I checked he wasn't contributing towards my heavy financial responsibilities. If at all anything he owed me money sef hisssss. So that's how I left it. Pay up and I wish you well in life.



It is a Beautiful Life!!!



Bloggggeerrrssss, pls pls pls, can we constantly remind ourselves that the Male version of English is very powerful, not!. Chatting up now means Relationship, Relationship now means Married, is there anything else I am missing out? I was later to learn that Cry baby had indeed come to London in the past to see another girl (not Phone Girl oo), and that girl was his girlfriend but she broke it off cos she suspected that he was seeing someone else (ehennn that someone is Phone Girl). Apparently Phone Girl is aware that he is a "Sophisticated Con Artist" (words from my Pastor) and she is still happy to be with her man (I pray she find another, if not wishing u the best). Conclusion, I got played............I don't even pity myself any longer cos for a man to use the death of a loved one to emotionally get with a woman, he certainly has psychological problems and there will be no point harbouring hatred. He came to disturb the balance in my life but I thank God for his mercies, His overwhelming Grace cos that balance has been restored so quickly.

P.S. This is my last frog and by the Grace of God the very last frog I shall meet. I am embarking on a Prince's tale now so will see how that goes. For now it's goign very well and I feel very blessed for all the opportunities and 2nd chances that come my way. O well if I stumble across other frog tales I will post it from time to time. ......................







Well this is the end of the road for my frog tales. I will keep an ear out for other stories. Of cos I need permission before I can share.

Being Both (Written by Nene)

Absolutely fantastic piece! Thot to share........

Being both....

i've been both the girl "he's just not that into"
the one that holds her breath and smiles...
knowing how fragile she is next to him
knowing how easily everything can change
and how she holds on by a string to his love
the one that knows her heart is slowly breaking
as each day brings the revelation that she deserves better
each day, a new dawn of empty promises and lost hope
one step closer to the end,
just one more step to fall from the ledge.
i've been the girl, that thot love=pain
constant anxiety and uncertainty meant it must be real,
a constant quest to prove herself worthy of him
of the scraps he throws off his table...that which he called love
i've been the one to believe i could change him
that soon he'll see whats soo special about me
but how could that have been...when i didnt see it myself
i've been the girl that struggled with forgivness
the one whose undying passion turned into a fury of burning rage
the one who struggled to let go of the shit she was fed
the shit she soo willingly accepted
the one whose tears must have fallen on the hands of God
cause only Him could have lifted her up

yes, i've been both
but the girl above is dead to her
as all her standards have been trully raised
"levels don change"
now, she is the she she wants to be
still swept away in the promise of tomorrow
carried away by the wonderful words that part his lips so easily
but even him, a different he. replaced by another
as evidenced by the melowness of his tone and the softness of his voice
she pinches herself
she thot she had prayed and told God what she wanted
but she forgot that when he blesses, he adds 1000 fold to who you are
because the beauty in the union that is 'them' cannot be accounted to her imagination alone
all her anger, melted away in the eyes of the future
still with some fear and trepidation, but faith overides them all
now she stands next to him strong
confident in who she is alone, and in who she is with him
peace overwhelmes her as she searches for anxiety
a new definition of love is made clear
her childhood fantasies are replaced by real life
real love
grounded in the hope that what God has put together
no man...not even themselves
shall put asunder
and with this she knows that forgiveness is complete
her grip on the past has been released
as she boldly embraces her future.

Bachelor Guy (aka Actually Married)

Well my dear Anonymous bloggers, you will be sad to know that today's post is not based on any of my froggy pasts. This one is based on one of my numerous friends who has also stumbled on a few frogs.

I have noticed that the month or two after xmas holls, the single girls amongst my friends seem very hopeful that they will meet Mr Right at the start of the year but if by after summer no show, they just become granny like and their socialising with the opposite sex is close to non-existent. Guess this particular year was a bit different cos we were overly positive that everyone will get a man before Valentine's day. LOL LOL yep I know what is sooo special about that day, big deal u can always watch those girls on your way to work and from work grinning to themselves cos they carrying a bunch of flowers, teddy bear, chocolates and whatever else. I mean we girls who didn't receive can just smile knowing God loves u and He is the best Valentine's gift :-))

Anyhoo it was a Saturday and we got our "trying to still look hot and sassy in a winter attire" on and headed for a house party who a close friend of ours invited us to. It was her much older cousins birthday so we had been anticipating the age group that would be there and weighing the probability of how many men will be single and all. We get to this gorgeous house, in fact for London standards it was just massive. We were so excited cos this meant there was enough space for people to move around easily and dance when you felt like it. The only problem was the calibre of men here. Before I am crucified or called proud, let me just say good luck to girls who like to pretend to themselves cos there are just some guys that are not it at allll. Seeing as the age group here were late 20s - mid 30s, we hadn't anticipated the Pot belle Daddy's. My girls and I resorted to dancing in a firmly kept circle and totally ignored any male attention.

As my girl lets call her Carrie was dancing away, I noticed one of her ex boify come in and called her attention to this. Her expression was more like Great, just greattt, can the nite get any beta?! As this irritation was building in her, a not so bad looking guy approached her for a dance, she jumped right on him cos she needed her ex to see her having fun (women u know what I mean). The nite was drawing to an end so this guy asks Carrie for her number and of cos I knew she would give a fake number lol lol cos she wasn't feeling the brother that much. Fake number plus fake name and they said their good byes. She thought that would be the last they will see of each other (if only she knew). This guy obviously tried the number and realised he had been played lol lol so he decided to hunt this babe down. He calls the celebrant hey do u know a Lindsey? Of cos she did not but after much description she put two and two together and knew it was Carrie. i bet he must have bribed the celebrant cos she so would not just hand over a correct number of a babe who obviously gave a fake number for a reason.

Bachelor guy calls Carrie and I guess she was slightly thrown back on how hot on her heels he had been. The struggle to get a number na wa oo. Before u know it she starts to give her real info and they hit it off. Well then again Val's day was already knocking on her door so she thot it was an early present :-)) They started going on countless dates and after much persuasion she agreed to be his girlfriend. What is surprising is I never had the chance to meet this guy but he had heard a lot about me as I am one of her main friends. I wish I had met him around the start of it all maybe, just maybe I would have smelt a rat.

Carrie was doing a lot of travelling that year and I went on one of those holidays with her. She had arranged for Bachelor to pick us up. The regular flights being delayed meant that we kept him waiting for a little over 20mins. He barely greeted us as we got to his car and just left the boot open for us to throw our stuff in ourselves. The journey to my hse was so quiet. Finally I am home and there was no lift in my then flat so I thought he will offer to help me with some bags up the stairs. He didn't. He just sat in his car and waited for me to off load. Carrie got down and gave me a hand and as we climbed upstairs I kept asking if he had mental problems? She was just embarrassed at his behaviour so barley said anything. Once she got home she called me immediately and it was evident that there was sumtin not right about this guy. He seemed nervous throughout the car ride (we will later understand why) so we kept wondering if he had met me somewhere before and is scared I know his story. I asked her where he lives, she mentioned some nice part of London and said he shared an apartment with another Bachelor.

Well things were not going too well again between Bachelor and Carrie so she called it off. I mean the constant not picking his phone and finding it hard to speak for long at certain times of the day, getting agitated at everything. He was just acting odd. As God will have it be, Carrie and myself were invited for a wedding. I ran to the bathroom so fast that my dress nearly tore! I could hardly breathe, this was a moment of fear/confusion/ weakness my knees nearly gave way at what I was about to tell my friend!!! I said Carrie, emmmm Bachelor is here, she was like ok is that why u look like u just saw a ghost? I was like Nooo, emmmm Bachelor came in with a woman and 2 kids!!! She goes ok, might be his sister and the children. I said Nooo, unfortunately my cousin had confirmed that it is his wife and kids cos my cousin attended the same University as him! so she was sure he was married.

Carrie walks out of bathroom and walks towards his table and he quickly got up before she got there (LOLLLLLLL), he goes hello long time? She was like Hi, was just about to come and greet you and the family. He froze and said .......take care of yourself. Ooooo Lord thank u for how nice some of we women are. WTF???????? take care? cheiii this was just a sickening moment. Rewinnddd wasn't this a guy who lived in a Bachelor pad with his mate? I mean she had spent a lot of time in his house, and there was no sign of wife. If this was not bad enuff I got to Church the very next day to see Bachelor and his family at my Church sitting in a row in front of me. I found it hard concentrating. He kept grinning like a b**tard! God pls forgive me but it's so hard not to curse at some men! I am in Church and all I want to do is get abusive cos Carrie had been played and it was just soooo unfair. This was why he was acting funny the day of the airport!!! He must have recognised me from the Church.........and to top it off the dude actually calls Carrie to ask if they could meet up for a drink and talk??? Em, poor Carrie was like “Haven’t you embarrassed me and yourself enuff? Abeg am ready to let sleeping dogs lie and let God be the judge of all this”

There are women out there who are into extra marital affairs so why didn't he tell her he was married? Ok revenge for her giving a fake number to begin with? Kaiii women always go with your first instinct, usually never lies!!! I was later to learn that a lot of London married men keep Bachelor pads sooo emmmm girlfriends plssss be extra careful cos this game which "Anonymous" has told me to get out of is getting tougher to play. It's just not a levelled playing ground. May God continually give us the strength to survive through situations like this........Amen.

The Guy from Wales

Mid-week already (thank God!) but I have been so busy at work it still feels like a Monday! Guess that's why I didn't get to put sumtin up yesterday but thanks to all my Comment Bloggers for making things so lively. Some say I am proud, others know this isn't the case. Some seem to like to give advise on how I should run my life, others know the best teacher is life itself. Some want to point the finger at me and call me the one with the issues lol lol lol, others know I have lived a beautiful life so far and I am looking forward to my future challenges. Some cannot read that these are my experiences to date and thus happened over the years!, others recognise that the reason I started the Blog is to alert weaker women that it's ok to feel like u are the only one not meeting "Mister Right" but to take heart that the Lord never fails us. He has been ridiculously good to me even when I say to Him I don't deserve it..................

I met Mister Wales thru my friend who lives in Canada (yeah this was her second attempt of trying to get me a correct guy). She spoke very highly of him but made it clear that she hadn't seen him in over a decade. Apparently as kids/teenagers he was one of those respectable guys that you always thanked his mum for raising him right. Thanks to all these hook up sites, Canada friend and Wales were reunited. As they caught up on their current relationship status, he said he was single and doing a Masters in Wales. My diligent friend didn't waste time in contacting me that she thinks she has found someone suiting for me. I must say Canada friend has fantastic marketing skills cos she sold this guy to me like a guy working in Chanel is tryna get u to spend money you don't have and u end up buying the good :-)) I gave her permission to pass my number down and thats how my story begins..........

Wales guy was definitely a breathe of fresh air. Every call felt like we were buddies from another life. He was a good listener with a good phone voice so I always wanted to hear his stories and marvel at how much he claimed to have done for himself in such a short space of his life. By this I am referring to his Uni days back in Naija, graduating on time and getting into his beloved profession at a young age compared to his peers. We hit it off so well in fact I was always thanking Canada for introducing us.

Finally we set our first date and of cos I insisted he comes down to London. We agreed it will be a day trip after Church on Sunday I shall pick him up from the station. I remember praying my best prayer, "Lord let your will be done in my life". I never pray "Lord let this be the man you have picked for me" cos His decision might not be appealing to me. Service was over and I did the customary stop in the foyer to greet all your friends and family. Ironically one of the friends I was greeting is going to play a significant part in this tale. She asked me what I was doing after Church and I told her I had a date with a guy who schools in Wales. I was running late so I told her I will call to give her the low down on him.

I get to the station and this would be the first time we are meeting in person. He looked pleasant and I felt warm around him. We probably had the longest lunch ever cos we couldn't stop talking. I mean every word that came out seemed to intrigue him, I was like whoaaa a guy that is actually listening! It felt good. We decided to go catch a movie but unfortunately there wasn't going to be any showing that will end on time to allow him to catch his train back. So we went off to a bar instead. By now my head was spinning with excitement, I'm thinking this is too good to be true but I sure would love to see this dude again and again. We said our good byes and I assured him that I will make that journey down to Wales at some point.

2 weekends after this date I set off for Wales. I convinced a girlfriend to come along as she also had a friend in that same Uni. He had cooked and I was impressed with his Chef skills. Once we had all eaten, we went partying and I remember thinking I haven't had this much fun in a while. Uni partying is sure more lively than all those adult posing parties. I did some sight-seeing on the Saturday then went clubbing, and before I knew it I was back in London feeling like I just had a fun filled weekend. Wales guy called to make sure I had arrived safely and we exchanged notes on what a swell wknd it was. In fact it was such a good wknd I had organised a guy for one of my friends in London lol lol.........History will later show they were both jokers.

Days passed so fast or maybe it was all in my head cos Wales had told me he was coming for a wedding. I didn't think much of it when he didn't ask me to be his date to this wedding. I thot there are a thousand and one reasons why he might not ask and the simplest being, maybe someone else invited him so he won't want to start wedding crashing with me. Wedding was supposedly in London so he said we could meet after the wedding or the next day. I was fine with this. The day of this wedding I didn't hear from him at all. I tried his phone countless times but he just didn't pick. Finally around 10pm he calls me, hey I'm in your town whats good? I'm like dude na wa oo what's up with your phone? He says battery was dying so he didn't want to waste the life line as he needed to get directions to the wedding but in fact he didn't get to go cos he got into town too late. Ok I am sorry to hear that, where r u right now? I am at a friend's hse do u want to speak to him? Erhhhh no..... Wales guy is like I just thot to check up on you quickly so guess will speak soon. Rewinnddddd, no mention of lets meet up, or look forward to seeing you. Ahhh I just said ok no yawa bye. I knew sumtin didn't add up but I couldn't put my finger on it. I mean just the nite before he was so excited about the prospects of seeing me again.

The day after this, my head was hot. Once again I couldn't reach his phone in fact it was switched off. I went to Church feeling low but as always service was on point so my spirit was uplifted. Once I got home I remembered I never called my friend 3 Sundays back to tell her about this new guy. I started off going on and on about how much of an impression this dude had left on me. My friend asked for his name and I told her, she then goes and u say he is from Wales? I was like yep, she goes this must be a very big coincidence cos there is a guy right in front of me sitting with his girlfriend who has this same name and schools in Wales. I was like no wayyyyy, as innnn stop the joke. Ok now describe him.........by the time he exchanged notes it was clear I was talking about her friend's boyfriend.

I felt so sick cos I knew the girl, we are not close but I know her enuff to know she doesn't deserve such. As I was still chatting to my friend, this silly dude actually logged on to MSN and started chatting to me about how "His phone was dead" so sorry if I have been trying to reach him. I asked where he was, he said at a family friends' hse, he even had the audacity to tell me the exact location (his babes hse oo), I was like whoaaa that's really close by, we should meet up then. He goes nah nah I am going to be running around this evening then off to Uni. LOLLLLLL what a joke!!! I was like no probs safe journey back.

I refused to pick his calls for 2 days and then on the 3rd day I was ready. I revealed everything to him. Now that the cat is out what do you have to say for yourself? This is one of my favourite lines till today: "well u see, I was trying to explore the both of u" (LOLLLLLLLLLLL explore??? wetin?) But now that u have gone out of your way to find out about this other girl then guess it's left for u to decide how u want to play it. I nearly choked on my spite. How I want to play it? Ok dude this is how I play it, focus your attention on your girl and leave me be! I do not want to curse u out cos of the good friend that introduced u. He then goes, but I had told u that though I was single, there is a girl I was talking to from back in December. Okkkk talking too now means she is your girlfriend! Give me a break, ok sorry I am dumb and not that good with translating the male version of English, but get lost already!

I thot Wales guy was gone forever, but foolishly he still kept trying to get me to come down to Wales!!! Arrrhhhh hell no! Of cos since I now had an intermediary who could tell his girlfriend stuff about us, I use to keep her posted. He hated this! Told me to tell my CNN friend to stop disturbing his girlfriends ears............ooooo the cheek of this boy! I sha told him that CNN will not stop so it's best he stops hitting on me!

I guess for him it was unfortunate he got caught out like that cos so many guys have women on the side abi? as fellow Blogger commentators have revealed to us hisssssssss. But you see that prayer "Lord let your will be done" has never failed me :-))

Church Guy

Hi friends, new friends, new enemies (cos I sure know by now some men want my head hehehe), hope you all had a good enough weekend. I was at 2 birthday parties on Saturday, the second party had mature looking Naija guyz and I kept saying to myself where have these ones been hiding. Then I looked closer and realised they were not really my type at all. Some had earrings on (didn't know that was still in fashion), others had awful shoes! I have a habit, if a guy looks a bit cute, I tend to look at his shoes immediately. I feel shoes say a lot about guys in general. That's how one of my fellow brothers was wearing what seemed to me a security guards shoes (very bulky under soles with lace-up fronts in black). I recognised those shoes cos that's part of the uniform for the workers at my office building. O well he probably didn't have time to get home after his shift and make an effort to look smart...............

Ok let me dive into today's guy. I don't know if I have mentioned that I am writing about these men in no particular order...... Well I met Church guy at a friend's 25th birthday party. The set up was more of a club type place so enuff boozing and dancing. He came up to me and was polite enuff to get me a drink (unlike other guys that will be drinking in front of u watching your throat get dry from having to speak back to their cheapness hissss). It was a good start, he mentioned he had spotted me in Church a few times and apparently knew my sista (I was like nice one at least I can get his scope from her). Good looking brother ooo, so of cos I was friendlier than usual :-)) I told him I wasn't even meant to attend the party cos I had volunteered to sing for 6 weeks in Church with other Choir members for 3 services per Sunday. He sha said he will come and hear me out in one of the services. At this time I didn't realise how much of an active member of the Church he was.

As promised he showed up for one of the services so I met him after the service to hear his feed back. He was pleasantly surprised at how well we sang with such little practise. That's when he mentioned to me that he organises the evening service so maybe we could catch a movie afterwards. We did and we both enjoyed it. I remember going to bed that nite thanking God for letting me meet what at the time seemed a genuine Church guy that spoke with so much respect n all. In the next few weeks after this, I had already grown fond of him and I was always anticipating his calls and trying to arrange us meeting for one thing or another. On one of our outings, he mentioned a "girl who is a friend" will be joining us for drinks and possibly another male friend. I didn't think much of it until we finally saw her. They both seemed very flirty, and jittery (in my head I'm like na wa for this "girl who is a friend") but I kept thinking well Church guy acts like he is so deep into the Church so maybe she fancies him but nothing had become of them. Anyway the other male friend came and we all decided to head to a bar that had some dancing space.

I started bursting moves trying to get him to keep up cos he was doing Church moves. In under 30 mins dude let himself go and u could so tell he use to rave a lot back in his days (he is 30-ish in age). In fact he started displaying very current moves so I started to wonder how come he was still so in touch with the times? O well u are allowed to be young at heart so no biggie. His "girl who is a friend" kept looking at us at every given moment but I didn't like the look, her eyes seemed very worrisome and sad though her face had a permanent fake smile going on. When the nite was over she wanted to make sure he wasn't going back to my crib so he assured her he was heading home afterwards ( and home is where he ended up :-)). By the next Friday, dude was telling me that he and this "girl who is a friend" were heading to the movies. I was like look I aint no fool this babe obviously likes u, he was there telling me how she is the one paying for everything (hmmmm) she just needs company, okk Church guy. He didn't get home till 2 am or so and I only knew this cos he told me so. The movie supposedly started at 8pm so guess they really enjoyed each other's company till that late. I didn't question him cos it's not like he was my man but of cos I was fond of him so it made me uncomfortable.

Moment of Truth!!!! :--- I got to his house at 9am on the Saturday. For those that know me, that is way too early to be awake on a work free day! Of cos it was the irritation of me knowing he was hanging with another girl the nite before that dragged me there. Guess I wanted to surprise him in case she stayed over lol lol. Well she didn't and he ushered me to his living room where he had been online and was about to log out. I prompted him not to shut down cos I wanted to check my mails as well. Unfortunately for this dude, he thot he had logged out but when it came to my turn, the computer said "Log in as another user or continue as you?" Sneaky me of cos I chose to continue as "you" (You being him). Mennnnnn I was weakkkk at what I saw. My Church guy was a very organised guy when it came to women. Do you know this dude had a folder in his inbox for each woman he was chatting up!!! As in labelled with all our names!!! As in..... in order to avoid confusion of who he is telling what lies to he had to create folders. Lord help me my body froze! He was taking a shower so I knew I had enuff time to read through his inbox..........my tummy kept turning up and down, u know that sick feeling u get if u feel betrayed. Ahn ahn he had minimum 5 folders and within each he was even chatting to some other babes all over the world. Same lyrics of how he is a Church guy but emails always turned into more sexual tones. Although one folder stood out, u could tell this particular lady is the girl he was or is to marry, and he kept reassuring her that he will soon be back in Naija cos that's obviously where her base is.

At this point I'm thinking should I just leave without giving him a reason or just act a fool? I chose to act a fool and so I logged out and waited patiently for him to get dressed. We even hung out the whole of that day but I can assure u it was very uncomfortable for him. Everything he said or did I had a sly remark to make, one minute I will smile next I would curse out men in general. He kept asking where all the negativity was coming from. I then asked him point blank look we have been chatting and knowing each other for 2 months now, where is this heading? He then gave me the classic response "I am not in a position to be in a relationship with any babe now". I asked why? "He said he had too much going on in his life (u got that right! U bloody cow.......) and he doesn't want to disappoint any babe by not being able to invest enuff time in the relationship (LOLLLLLL invest time, imagine the nerve! Of cos u don't have time cos u sharing it with 5 or more girls!!!).

Till right now this guy had no idea I read those emails so if by fluke he stumbles on this blog, perhaps it will answer his questions as to why my attitude towards him changed forever!!!! I just deleted his numbers sharp sharp. This is someone peeps respect a lot in my Church but then again my Church is notorious for useless men. May God bring peace to their confused souls, Amen.

ZEN Guy

You know there are some places you go and unwind a little but you almost should never give your number out to a guy in some of these places. Perhaps cos it is notorious for irresponsible brothers or just generally one of the lastminute.com venues that u so know u r only there cos the other option is sitting at home nursing boredom. Well that was what happened on this particular Saturday. I hardly put any effort into my dressing cos I had told my girlfriend that it was going to be a short nite, just a few drinks, maybe a good dance if the DJ was alright on the nite.

We ended up at Zen Bar, it's right next to Maryleborne station. My nite had gone relatively well when the lights suddenly came on for everyone to evacuate the premises. As peeps were dragging themselves out rather reluctantly (cos I must say the music was good), a guy grabbed my hand and said "Hi, I noticed you doing your thing on the dance floor and I must say u actually dance very well". "Ok thank u was my response". Dude proceeds to I don't normally do this but can I get your number so that we can do sumtin after Church tomorrow(LOL LOL)? Hmmm see me ooo partying like my life depends on it and a guy is throwing in the "Church" buzz word. I was like ayt sinner vs sinner no yawa we can surely meet after Church. He was ok looking and spoke few enuff words to sound like he didn't have any funny accent going on.

After Church, dude calls me to ask how my service was and I was so tripped cos most guys don't care for all that one ooo. We sha exchanged what our sermons was about and gisted for a bit. So we decided to catch an early evening movie seeing as we both had work the next day. The movie was actually really funny and home boy was laughing his head off not even tryna front. That I liked!!! cos some Naija boyz will be forming as though laughing is some disease that affects being seen as "cool". Movie was rather short and the Cinema was not too far from his crib so he asked if I was hungry maybe we can go do a take-out and watch another movie as he had a large collection. Well me being Madam spontaneous/care-free I thot, what the heck, it's not like my clothes are not ironed for work so lets go.........when we got there he had a family friend around (male) so throughout the eating and watching movie I think we spent the bulk of time gisting about everything that Naija guys were up to in jand. Through this conversations I was so sure that these guys could most certainly not be into all that odu stuff. But right now (with all that later happened) cos I have no evidence I will say there is a 50 /50 chance of Zen guy being into it. The nite ended well and I thot what a good first impression.

The whole of that week, Zen guy had done what I expect of a serious guy on a babe's case. He had called me at any given moment, turned up at my crib 2wice already that week just to make it clear that he was really into me. Initially I was trying to slow things down cos I thot wait a minute this dude is wayyyy too good to be true but u see I was enjoying the mad attention. In fact Valentine's day was drawing near so I was already calculating how at least I can sustain whatever it is we had going on for another 3 weeks. By the second Friday of knowing him, Zen guy told me to get dressed that he is taking me somewhere special. Cheiiii my body was just tingling like a confused ram, as innnnn I was too tripped. Last time I had sumtin excite me that much was probably a year before that day. I felt like finally a man is taking charge after all I was under the assumption that he had a nice job (LOL LOL guess the job? I.T. but at least unlike Plane guy he actually knew his stuff), definitely a bunz car (u know all Naija made boyz must drive their Mercedes or BMW sha) so u see I even put extra effort into the dressing sef.

He picked me on time (impressive) and the venue was one I look forward to going to again once my future Hubbie and I are ready for such expensive escapades. It was a madly plush restaurant / bar where the likes of Justin Timberlake and co wine and dine like its McDonalds. But an average bill of £200 for 2 will make u realise it's not a daily treat :-)) Kaiii my Zen guy sha used this opportunity to make sure I felt like the Queen I know I am and Heaven knows by now I was hooked. In fact I probably had moved my thots from Valentine's catch to potential future hubbie.

Ok ooo so all the pleasantries started drawing to an end. From 5 calls a day it reduced to 2, then 1 and before u know it I started looking at my phone to see if it will ring with his name on certain days!!! Cheiii I was in denial. Ahn ahn where did I go wrong? But u see I am highly critical of myself but b4 I do that I always try and ask the guy point blank wat the hell is going on? Finally I got round to him answering my question. He used the most played out line of "I have been very busy bla bla bull shit" but I promise things will change just have a project I am doing at the mo (Property development). Ok ooo what this means is my guy claimed to work 9-5 I.T. work and then weekends were fully taken cos he and his boyz had to travel out of town to monitor one of his properties that was under construction. In fact dude went as far as saying that they even join hands with the workers to do some painting, and general work to the hse. I sha chopped this story cos I needed to believe that this dude wouldn't put so much effort into getting me just to let me go like that?

As always the truth or near enuff to the truth always comes out. On one of his wknd runs, he had told me that we would meet on Sunday after Church (seeing as that is his only free time in 7 days now oo, how convenient). I was like thot u said u will be free this Saturday? He said nahh sumtin came up on the site so they had to drive down urgently. As God would have it be one of my male friends was out on Saturday nite and guess who he bumped into? Zen guy in what venue?? in ZEN lol lol. I found out the next day and confronted him. Dude started shouting at me that why should I be spreading his business everywhere? I was like Business? He said yeah asking people if they spotted him here or there......I told the brother to shut up before I show him my really ugly side and Heaven knows he won't heal easily. As innn my male friend volunteered the information and not in a grudging way, he said "Figurella, I even saw your guy out last nite" I was like hmmm that's strange he told me he was out of town? Sha after shouting back n forth with Zen guy I told him to go to hell that I don't blame him at all. If in a month of knowing me u r already playing this childish games then omo wetin future go hold?

Dude thot I was joking when I told him to never look for me again but in no time he starts calling me trying to be all "sane" again I was like heck no been there done that and I aint going back! Sha that's how we were over and done with before Valentine's day but hey at least one of my close male friends treated me to a nice Val's day dinner so that I didn't feel cheated (awwww wish I could marry this dude but he is just not mentally there at all for such commitment but we have mad respect for each other).