Somebody Else's Guy (aka Cry baby Guy)

There are things we do that defy logic and do not follow the normal unwritten rules of how a woman should handle a potential or just a toaster. This guy was certainly one that brought out the extreme end of kindness from me and also happens to be the reason I decided to start my frog tales. Each day I thank God for my strong personality, even times when I feel like emotionally this is too much for one person, I still find myself smiling in the morning. So you see fellow bloggers "Joy sure does come in the morning, and the old things shall pass away"......but before I embrace my new Prince, I needed to get this story out of me so that women who are successful at such a young age and unmarried must be constantly reminded that there are men that are just out to leech on u and won't loose a heart beat over your down fall. This was a situation where I wanted to do things differently, ignore the fact that he was a self-funding student (aka broke ass) but he came across as a focused and ambitious one. Seeing as free dinners had not gotten me far, I was still determined to rise above all of that. Now I know better, free dinner is still a better option than a "I will be rich some day" sort of guy. News Flash I am already rich if not materially but at least with the good Lord, my family, and loved ones.


It all began with Facebook. I got back from work one fine evening and I saw a message in my inbox from Cry baby. He complimented my pictures and asked about my well being. I initially didn't see any "Friends in Common" between us so I asked how he found me? Said he stumbled on my page via someones photo album but couldn't remember whose own. Anyway eventually I realised he knew one or two of my friends from High School so I decided to be friendly. We exchanged emails for quite a while and at the time I even had facebook access at work so he became my daily dose of excitement. Picture wise he looked good enuff, he seemed rather simple and came across as so focused. Said he was undergoing a full time MBA program and I sympathised with the amount of time and work that goes into it. He was in yankee and I was in London so he always flirted around with the idea of him coming down to see me.............Questions like where do u live back in Lagos, and what do you do for a living seemed like everyday normal things we ask from each other little did I know I was digging myself into a hole.


We moved to phone calls and he had an awfully sweet phone voice. On one of the days I called him, he sounded like a truck ran him down. He said he had just lost a loved one and had to fly back to Naija for the burial. I think because of how well we had connected I felt as though I needed to be there with him so since I couldn't be, I put on my clown hat and just tried to make him calm. It worked and throughout his stay in Naija I found myself being the one making him laugh before he went to sleep. We hadn't really discussed his status whether fully single, semi-single, chatting, or in a relationship. I decided to bring it up one nite, and he said well he wouldn't have started chatting me up if he wasn't single but that there was a girl he was "chatting" to a month before me. Apparently she had moved back to Naija to sort out her law school. I didn't sweat it cos Cry baby totally played it down, he even went as far as saying, "you have been there for me throughout this grieving period and he didn't ask it of me so he wanted to know if we could be an item, as in embark on a relationship". Thankfully I didn't jump on this offer cos I was wise enuff to realise he was an emotional mess and of cos it is easy to mix feelings of just friendship with a babe to mean sumtin else.


Cry baby was back in yankee and it was straight into exams for him. Of cos that whole period meant we couldn't talk as often and I found it hard cos now I was in a routine with this guy (fellow bloggers must understand that phone routine, where u start to expect calls at certain times and get slightly disappointed if it doesn't come thru). Close to the end of his exams, we played with the idea of him coming down but seeing as he was a student I knew that he was financially strained. I toyed with all sorts of ideas of how he could come down, air miles or.........I sha foolishly suggested we go half on the plane ticket (Plssss ooo bloggers don't bite my head off).

I told him to pay me back once he started his new job which obviously was to be after his MBA was over. LOL LOL of cos at this time I felt I was investing into a man (Depreciating asset), ooo I really was in la la land. I had never in my life found myself in this sort of situation where a guy cannot afford to fly down but I was so sure there was more to this brother. I was so sure that the supposed purity he put out there was genuine and in turn I was soooo sure my kindness will pay off. (It sure did not, no no it actually did cos I have been set free!!!).



Cry baby got to my town, and he didn't look as good as he did in the pictures but then again this was him with full hair and over grown facial hair so I knew a pretty face was hiding behind all of that. Seeing as he was still grieving, I made sure I took him to Church on two occasions and one of those Sundays, it was a very special day cos Pastor Adeboye was in town! I was so excited about this cos that man sure delivers the word of God! Cry baby was so thankful to be a part of the service and at this point I was getting comfortable, in fact I was sure I had moved up his radar. Not even 2 days into his trip down, his phone starts to ring, he had a London sim card which he had kept from a previous trip. As he picked the call, I immediately knew it was a lady he was speaking to. Initially I thot it was his sister and then I realised it was the girl who had moved to law schl.......lets call her Phone Girl. He spoke very relaxed with her but I noticed he found it hard telling her who he was with. Used the usual I am with a friend line and she didn't question him any further. I could make out some of their conversation cos he took the call next to me.


Lets just say Phone Girl got her name cos till today I never knew anyone could call somebody that amount of times. This girl called from Naija an average of 2 times per hour. Every hour ooo!!!I called Cry Baby's attention to this fact, he said that's how she is cos they had become good friends b4 she left for Law school and she hadn't settled down properly there so had no real friends to lean on bla bla. Okkkkk she aint your girl so this doesn't make sense? Finally by his 4th day with me, he changed his story to, well me and this girl had sumtin.... (AAAcccheeww=Big Sneeze from me) sumtin meaning what? Apparently they were going to start a relationship but he didn't feel he knew her well enuff before she left London. Rewinddddd.......which London is this dude talking about? This same London I live in? Emmmm Cry baby thot u said your last trip to London was to hang with family and friends? O yeah it was but that is when I met Phone Girl. U r kidding me right? Dude thot u said u did nothing but chat her up? O nooo did I forget to mention that she flew down to the States and I caught up with her there as well? U sure did forget that vital info! So where do the two of u stand? We are just friends, and although I was going to embark on a relationship with her, I met u and now I am so confused.


Confused.com sure couldn't solve this joke. My blood was steaming with serious confusion as well. Had this guy flown all the way down to just play my ass? Are there not enuff akata babes to play? Nahh there had to be more to this story. The remaining part of his trip was just a roller coaster. One minute I block out the possibility of another girl after all she wasn't even within his reach, the next minute I get into a tantrum with him and just blow off. On one of my off days, Cry baby guy decides to start cryinggggggg. He started using all his emotional baggage on me, said he doesn't know why he didn't just come out and be straight with me. He is in love with 2 women. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL u r what? Emmm which 2? Ooo Phone Girl and me. Arrh rational me starts to wipe his tears off and tell him to calm down cos I had never met a man that will cry so openly. He addresses the fact that he had just lost a very loved one and of cos that person would have been able to pray about the situation for him. He was certain that the woman he was to spend the rest of his life with was already in his courtyard so now he had to decide who it was.


I looked at this guy and looked at myself 24 times over. I say kaii, is it because this one is fine like Tyson Beckford I go chop this joke (the day he shaved all his hair off and cleaned up is when I shld have realised I was in trouble, the transformation was dramatic) ? An intelligent good looking student, who is broke, so all I had was a promise of tomorrow being a better day, future correct job and possibility of settling down to my future............Hmmmm I just kept silent. Cry baby and I said our good byes and we decided that we shall leave it all to God. You see, for whatever emotional madness I had found myself in, I was certain my God would get me out of it. Why? Cos I meant nothing but good for this fellow creature! I had put myself out there like a door mat. He was walking all over me and I justified it as him being sincere. After all, other guys would have 2, 3, 4 girls and never discuss them with me. This guy is saying it is me vs Phone Girl for his undivided attention (You shld see me laughing at myself right now, it's all good sha).


After weeks of prayers and I was not getting head ways with this clown, I woke up and wrote what would be my final good bye email to him. He ignored it and was still acting like I was partially his. Finally the day arrived where we tackled the issue head on.



Me: Cry baby are u saying u never saw my good bye email, I can't take this joke anymore? Cry baby: Yes I did, but I had nothing to say so I thot it's best I stay quiet. Me: What do u mean u have nothing to say? I mean I only wrote it cos u still haven't said who u are going to be with? Cry baby: Arrhh, I thot u understood that I am with Phone Girl. Me: WTFFFFF???? Since when? Cry baby: well I thot about it and decided I haven't given her a chance to know me, so she is to fly down and we will see where we stand. But I don't want to loose u either so all I'm saying is I am SINGLE but I just need to know if there is still anything btwn me and Phone girl. Imagine this low life! What had he done for me? Or what could he do for me? Last time I checked he wasn't contributing towards my heavy financial responsibilities. If at all anything he owed me money sef hisssss. So that's how I left it. Pay up and I wish you well in life.



It is a Beautiful Life!!!



Bloggggeerrrssss, pls pls pls, can we constantly remind ourselves that the Male version of English is very powerful, not!. Chatting up now means Relationship, Relationship now means Married, is there anything else I am missing out? I was later to learn that Cry baby had indeed come to London in the past to see another girl (not Phone Girl oo), and that girl was his girlfriend but she broke it off cos she suspected that he was seeing someone else (ehennn that someone is Phone Girl). Apparently Phone Girl is aware that he is a "Sophisticated Con Artist" (words from my Pastor) and she is still happy to be with her man (I pray she find another, if not wishing u the best). Conclusion, I got played............I don't even pity myself any longer cos for a man to use the death of a loved one to emotionally get with a woman, he certainly has psychological problems and there will be no point harbouring hatred. He came to disturb the balance in my life but I thank God for his mercies, His overwhelming Grace cos that balance has been restored so quickly.

P.S. This is my last frog and by the Grace of God the very last frog I shall meet. I am embarking on a Prince's tale now so will see how that goes. For now it's goign very well and I feel very blessed for all the opportunities and 2nd chances that come my way. O well if I stumble across other frog tales I will post it from time to time. ......................







Well this is the end of the road for my frog tales. I will keep an ear out for other stories. Of cos I need permission before I can share.